ANAHEIM, Calif. — Recently deceased grandmother of six Dorothy Roddenbury selfishly had a funeral on the same day Anthrax was scheduled to play at City…
We remember elementary school music class as a really informative and interactive experience where we learned the basics of sheet music and how different instruments…
BALTIMORE — A new report issued by John Hopkins University revealed local woman Cassie Maloney is showing early signs of settling for a partner that…
SAN FRANCISCO — Aaron Benet, CEO of tech start-up CodeVibe, sent a company-wide email explaining that he will be implementing a return to office policy…
Who doesn’t love “Weird Al” Yankovic? We sure as hell do! His parodies have poked fun at literal decades of classics, and in doing so,…
HUNTSVILLE, Ala. — Rebellious bartender Shae Ruggeri insisted on playing Semisonic’s signature song “Closing Time” exclusively at the start of her opening shifts, confirmed sources…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local man Nate Weiss is reportedly struggling to make his relationship work after girlfriend Julia Shepard moved into a new building with…
Love makes us do crazy things — run through airports, hold up boomboxes, and sometimes even willingly hang out on Long Island. This time, love…
LODI, N.J. — Misfits lead singer Glenn Danzig is reportedly amending the band’s ongoing request for skulls to include leg bones, if absolutely necessary, confirmed…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump issued a mandate that all federal employees must cease obtaining vaccinations and instead schedule weekly Botox injections, confirmed sources. “We…
It was unmistakably Eric Andre ordering a Chablis on the rocks next to me at the bar. I’m a pretty big comedy fan (name a…
RICHMOND, Va. — Metal band GWAR’s newest lead vocalist was announced via a giant white steam cloud of creamy ejaculate spouting out of the roof…
HOUSTON — A local 39-year-old Rockets fan’s entire financial future is dependent on hitting a promotional half-court shot worth $100,000, said nearby sources. “I don’t…
It seems like everybody these days has a cause that they truly believe in. Whether it’s fighting for a person’s right to bodily autonomy or…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Popular musician turned right-wing icon Kid Rock revealed a line from his 1999 hit “Bawitaba” referred to the infamous Riemann mathematical conjecture…