ORLANDO — Disney celebrated the grand opening of its newest park attraction today, consisting of a roped off area in the middle of the Magic…
Ah, summer is in the air, and so is opportunity – the opportunity to meet someone new and exciting, and turn them into a Pulp…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Local over-worked teacher Jason Nance was far more interested in her class’s Career Day presentations than her own students, sources confirm. “Despite…
POCATELLO, Idaho — The boyfriend of long-suffering woman Talia Lefferts reportedly took it upon himself to point out that a funny scene of “This is…
NEW YORK CITY — Self-described classical music aficionado Michael Rangel’s night at the Metropolitan Opera House was met with disappointment after realizing the experience was…
We all remember how we felt on that Tuesday morning in 2001. The sudden sense of despair and hopelessness that overcame us when we saw…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local born again crust punk Richard “Skuz-Dixx” Vanderbilt was recently baptized in sewage after deciding to reenter the Church of Latter-day…
Being American means we enjoy certain freedoms, such as the right to a fair trial. With these freedoms, however, come certain responsibilities, one of which…
LOS ANGELES — Musician Tyler, the Creator’s struggle with rival cosmic entity Tyler, the Destroyer is projected to reign eternal, metaphysical sources report. “There can…
DENVER — Local flight attendant and longtime punk Jules Green held out the mic to a front row passenger during pre-flight announcements for United Airlines…
Relationships are emotional journeys with peaks and valleys. And one of the toughest valleys you may endure is the realization that your man can never…
BALTIMORE — Black metal vocalist Ben “Plaguebearer” Rockwood wreaked havoc during Wincrest Elementary’s recent Play Day following questionable face paintings he gave to the children,…
WASHINGTON — Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claimed that he could tell a child is unhealthy just by licking them, sources…
Does anyone want to buy a parrot? He’s a beautiful blue and yellow macaw, very well-behaved, enjoys grapes, and, unfortunately, he knows how to say…
BOSTON — An attractive woman seated across from you on the subway was probably just waiting until the right moment to tell you how much…