Hold on, Waldorf, naptown, worldwide’s Good Charlotte have been around for nearly three decades? Standing ovation for them, and actual pain for you! If we’re…
We were already on a pay-to-play tour–How could we be expected to pay for our own food? Lucky for us–a shitty reward system and our…
You’re just like any other guy: you get home after a long day, crack open a warm can of beer and cry alone in your…
RACINE, Wis. — Unconcerned sources report that the clumsy efforts of crowd-killer Danny Wilkins at a house show by local horror punk band Root River…
It’s a strange time to be an alternative music fan right now. blink-182 is releasing a new album with their (almost) original lineup, Death Cab…
Sure, Drum Machines Can Keep a Beat, But They’ll Never Replicate My Profound Lack of Professionalism
Sure, Drum Machines Can Keep a Beat, But They’ll Never Replicate My Profound Lack of Professionalism
I’ve heard my fair share of criticism from my bandmates over the years. They say that I’m “too moody.” That I’m an “unreliable asshole.” That…
LEAWOOD, Kan. — Movie theater chain AMC rolled out a new tiered fee system allowing patrons to avoid seats behind cinephile boyfriends commenting on the…
OMAHA, Neb. — An unwanted Line 6 Spider III was recently abandoned on the stoop of the East Omaha Sanctuary For Unwanted Boys, somber sources…
Ever wished that Slayer’s pathological need to play at cokehead speed was combined with the earworm serpentine riffing of Metallica? Then you’d like Havok. The…
Sure, Ben, we all agree that the glove compartment is inaccurately named. But if you’re going to galavant around town making big demands like a…
The Ramones played 2,263 concerts over the span of 22 years, with a cool 14 full-length albums under their belts as well. That kind of…
Boca Raton’s non-senior-citizen-early-bird-special act Dashboard Confessional has the unique distinction of being a band, solo project, side gig, and a showcase of brilliant dances/haircuts. Dashboard…
Having a novelty hit in the ‘90s is a sticky situation. Most one-hit wonders of that era have long since faded into karaoke catalog legend,…
DURHAM, N.C. — Allegedly ill punk Tommy Donnelly has taken to his deathbed, which is also his roommate’s used futon, with only enough strength to…
CHICAGO — Local man Ben Schneebly was heard shouting “I don’t want to be here anymore!” over and over again at a recent Rise Against…