DENVER — The Instagram profile of user Viola Todd is starting to show the telltale signs of a slow, sinister transformation into a meme account,…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — 33-year-old house painter and disillusioned ska enthusiast Brady Taylor took a Sharpie to the white boxes on his checkered Vans Slip-Ons…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local mother and hi-fi aficionado Peggy Lowell had a multitude of criticisms regarding her son’s tone following a family spat on Sunday…
PHILADELPHIA — 9-year-old guitarist Tommy Moran is already rising as a “punk musician to watch,” thanks to his seemingly preternatural ability to completely suck at…
NEW HOPE, Pa. — Die-hard fans of alt-rock band Ween can now purchase tickets directly through their court-ordered ankle bracelets, thanks to a new service…
NORMAL, Ill. — The recent crackdown on plastic straws across the U.S. has led to a surge in 3D printed drinking paraphernalia, according to a…
MUNCIE, Ind. — Beastie Boys devotees and dedicated couple John Patterson and Alyssa Tully allegedly finish each other’s sentences when communicating between themselves and anyone…
CHICAGO — Unhinged rock legend Paul McCartney is continuing to lead concert goers in what is now the ninth consecutive hour of the “na-na” part…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Your leadership skills will be of use this week, Aries. Tell your frontman that you guys are playing the song you…
CHICAGO — Punk band Doormat’s frontman promised last night that the band would “for sure” play their bassist’s song, “The Mason-Dixon Lie,” at their next…
GILMAN HOT SPRINGS, Calif. — Every single member of the Church of Scientology were found last week to be undercover documentary filmmakers who only joined…
WAYNE, N.J. — World-renowned MILF Stacy’s mom, made famous by rock band Fountains of Wayne, died suddenly last night due to a heart attack at…
MILWAUKEE — Iconic motorcycle manufacturer Harley-Davidson held a press conference this morning, announcing plans to build fixed gear motorcycles to gain favor with a new,…
ERIE, Pa. — Punk sales associate Courtney Cruz is refusing to start her six-hour shift at Target until the store “actually fills up a little…














International Essay Prize Awarded to YouTube Comment Explaining Why Deafheaven Isn’t Black Metal
MONTREAL — The internationally-recognized Rodgers-Mayhew Essay Award was given yesterday to SoundMatters99, a Youtube commenter who succinctly dissected the genre minutia of popular indie-metal band…