RICHMOND, Va. — Several medical reports released early this morning state that any and all injuries sustained after the age of 25 will be with…
EUGENE, Ore. — Roommates and known stoners Lilia Huerta and Sam Khan reportedly witnessed Kate Bush in the form of a stray piece of thread…
PALMDALE, Calif. — Local fuel sniffer, Seth Carr, purchased several grams of heavily cut cocaine in response to historically high gas prices and the need…
TORONTO — Concert goers were left baffled last night when drummer Gareth McGibbons of mathcore band Hyde Index burst into flames during the band’s second…
BIRMINGHAM, Ala. — Southern woman and recreational drug user Darlene Abbot reportedly refers to every amphetamine or stimulant simply as “coke,” citing cultural norms and…
CHATTANOOGA — Local three-year-old Joseph Rhoades is finally getting some goddamn respect in his household after finding his father’s semi-automatic handgun behind a bookshelf in…
MONTREAL — Members of the pop-punk Simple Plan are having an existential crisis after realizing that life never really stopped being a nightmare as they…
After a breakup, the death of a band member, and an unexpected reunion, Scary Kids Scaring Kids have certainly been through the ringer, and their…
LOS ANGELES — The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences handed out the awards for Best Film Editing and several other utterly meaningless categories…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Local musician Bort “Borty” Giancarlo was observed introducing his long-term girlfriend and creative collaborator Anna Paloma as his bandmate, according to touring…
BOSTON — Prospective police officer and unapologetic bigot, Danny Connor, promised friends and family that if he becomes a cop he will use his position…
LAWRENCE, Kan. — A local home is angering neighbors by leaving their 311 Day decorations up long after the holiday has passed and allowing the…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Brave souls slinging drinks at the Slumbar Saturday night prepared for the rush of headbangers hurling towards them during a set by…
LAS VEGAS — The new Nick Cave album “Wraiths of a Crooked Burial” is outselling all of Cave’s previous work with an overwhelmingly positive response…
LOS ANGELES – Legendary actress Jodie Foster admitted that former presidential-assassin-turned-musician John Hinckley Jr.’s latest folk single is surprisingly decent, worried friends reported. “He came…