SYRACUSE, N.Y. – Local goth Sarah Lashley is rejecting modern bedding options and instead chooses to sleep in a casket resting on the floor, confirmed…
BERKELEY, Calif. — A popular local hacky-sack circle broke late yesterday afternoon up over key creative disagreements among its many members, sources report. “I’ve loved…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local man Rick Anderson remains ignorant to the fact that the generous beer donations he makes to his neighbors’ basement shows…
Each week, The Hard Times takes a look back at a classic album, some of which are easier to find through a cursory Google search…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Accountant Keith Lowell has the suffix “guitar” at the end of his Instagram handle despite showing no signs nor evidence of having…
SHEBOYGAN, Wisc. — Local punk band Disquantify announced today they will embark on an extensive world tour, with the first 36 stops right here in…
DENVER — Local man and vegan of two months Gabe Rumsey voiced his delight over the abundance of tasteless, processed plant-based options being unveiled at…
LOS ANGELES – Legendary guitar manufacturer Fender announced their new Sid Vicious Signature Classic bass guitar which will feature a rosewood fretboard, vintage sculpted rear…
WEST NEWTON, Mass. — 28 year old Jim Sylvia’s deep dive into Townes Van Zandt’s catalog has become a cause of concern for his girlfriend,…
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Fans of The Gaslight Anthem were disappointed to learn that the band’s long-awaited reunion tour will be postponed until the band…
IRVINE, Calif. — Doctor Lazlo Thesiger, a research scientist at Taco Bell’s Insights Lab, has resorted to unnatural and dark methods to achieve his obsessive…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local personal trainer Chance “Hard Knock” Turner has been seen tearing across town in defiance of myriad traffic laws, solidifying his reputation…
BALTIMORE, Md. — Local showgoers were shocked and dismayed after witnessing punk band, The Baby Hitlers, vanish completely during their performance moments ago, according to…
Eichlers is pioneering a new genre dubbed “HYPERSKA”; an infectiously catchy mix of electronic melodies and “My Checkered Future” is the first album from the…
CHARLOTTE N.C. — 35-year-old punk stock trader “Big” Tim Treadwell jumped out of a speeding van’s window yesterday after receiving bad news about his portfolio…