Rob Ryder
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LOS ANGELES — KISS bassist and singer Gene Simmons is reportedly charging fans $12,500 for the opportunity to change the…
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Tyler Roland
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LOS ANGELES — Progressive metal band Tool recently announced the “Lateralus Gold” experience, which involves fans paying $10,000 to massage…
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Josh Fernandez
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SEATTLE — Local anarchist Tommy Greggors staunchly declined to answer a survey about his experience at OfficeMax, confirmed sources. “I…
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Livy Berry
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Alright, I’ve been looking for jobs for way too long. I have a Bachelor’s degree in computer science, it should…
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Zach Raffio
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NEW YORK — Sigur Ros fans are beaming this morning upon hearing the band’s new album which perfectly captures the…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention have confirmed that the COVID-19 virus is gearing up…
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Dan Tomascik
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ATLANTA — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention are confirming that, following several states’ pushes to reopen,…
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Bobby Korec
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EAU CLAIRE, Wis. — Newly hired intern Rebecca Boulanger will earn time-and-a-half experience for her work on Labor Day from…
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Kyle Gunlefinger
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DALLAS — Local freshman Sammy Clifton, the sousaphonist in the Rosethorn High School marching band, reportedly now has more road…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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UNDISCLOSED — A secret job opening for an entry level position in the Illuminati posted today requires a minimum of…
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