EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined” the genre for her, but…
WASHINGTON — A new commission on Socializing, Relationships & Dating released a 105-page report determining that a breakup still counts between two romantically involved parties,…
CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski is exhibiting “incredibly dark, morose, and in no way different” behavior than prior to a recent breakup with…
GARDEN CITY, N.Y. — Local teenager Sammi Cooper reportedly has no way to play the mixtape gifted to her by pop-punk singer Ryan Hartley, and thus…
RICHMOND, Va. — Despite having two young, beautiful children, local father and noted hipster Holden Clarke continues to subtly remind everyone that the love he…