Katy Maiolatesi
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Are you the type of person who’d rather not expose your feelings to anyone in your life ever? We get…
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HG Punk
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LOS ANGELES – Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst admitted that the claims he “did it for the nookie” in the…
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Peter Woods
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EUGENE, Ore. — Local actuary Kelly Freeman reported that her recent breakup from noise musician Floyd Harrell has “completely ruined”…
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Lana Schwartz
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WASHINGTON — A new commission on Socializing, Relationships & Dating released a 105-page report determining that a breakup still counts…
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Courtney Baka
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CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski is exhibiting “incredibly dark, morose, and in no way different” behavior than prior…
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Jeremy Hammond
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GARDEN CITY, N.Y. — Local teenager Sammi Cooper reportedly has no way to play the mixtape gifted to her by pop-punk…
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Charlie McGarrigle
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RICHMOND, Va. -- Despite having two young, beautiful children, local father and noted hipster Holden Clarke continues to subtly remind…
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