Tim Graham
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HAWTHORNE, Calif. — A mechanical engineer at SpaceX spontaneously exploded while quietly working on a CAD drawing, according to blood-spattered…
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Ben Friedman
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LOS ANGELES — Emergency crews were dispatched to the newly opened Tesla Diner after six patrons were left with life-threatening…
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Bobby Korec
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SAN FRANCISCO — Leftist software engineer Connor Newburg vocally expressed wishing that he could travel back in time to kill…
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Stephen Bell
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BOCA CHICA, Texas – The world’s richest man, Elon Musk, says that he will be creating a new political party…
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Ben Friedman
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OMAHA, Neb. — Recent budget cuts to the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration by the Trump Administration has rendered it…
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Mark Danowsky
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PHILADELPHIA — Local 39-year-old Dwight Jenkins went on a series of tirades decrying “Gen Z’s endless string of luck” and…
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SPRINGFIELD, Va. — Local Drug Enforcement Administration (DEA) representative Luther Sacristan Diaz confirmed that Elon Musk’s rampant ketamine habit is…
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Matt Husser
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BOSTON — Mark Wahlberg sparked controversy after claiming that Elon Musk's botched penis implant “wouldn't have gone down like that”…
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Stephen Bell
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Like any aspiring anarchist, I want to do what I can to burn this entire rotten system to the ground…
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Doug Kolic
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MODESTO, Calif. — A local arsonist who torched a brand new Cybertruck as it sat on the lot of a…
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