Meet Lisa Bergeron, when her primary care physician told her the weekly recommended number of drinks for a woman her size was between five and…
People say the darndest things. They call my drinking habits “concerning” and say my behavior is “out of control.” But if the amount I drink…
LOUISVILLE, Ky.. — Guests at local man Ricky Ellis’ house party endured an agonizing 30-minute wait for eccentric cocktails from their overenthusiastic host who has…
Some people relax at the end of the day with a cold beer or a glass of wine, but not me, I prefer to smoke…
PHILADELPHIA — Local 36-year-old Dennis Waller’s out-of-control alcohol problem can evidently be traced back to the large amount of mid-to-late ‘90s professional wrestling he watched…
TOPEKA, Kan. – Local boring millennial Harley Shun admitted that he is horribly embarrassed by his drunken antics which made him enjoyable to be around…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Greg Johannssen claims it’s too early in the year for Starbucks to release pumpkin spice flavored drinks despite the fact his…
LOS ANGELES — Former child star Ricky Dugan was seen drunkenly Googling “where am I now?” after a night out at the bar, confirmed sources…
I never thought I’d be a cautionary tale. But now I know you should never get blackout drunk in front of your old friends from…
Alcohol and antidepressants—is there a better combo in the world? According to our doctor, “Yes, almost anything, for the love of God stop drinking on…
ARLINGTON, Texas — Americans everywhere took a brief pause from threatening to kill each other online to share that they believe Ingrid Andress should have…
SAG HARBOR, NY — Justin Timberlake announced his next album will be about how the popular alcoholic beverage Long Island Iced Tea is a lying…
Doctors and scientists will tell you that alcohol is severely dehydrating, but doctors also used to prescribe lobotomies to anyone with ADHD, and scientists were…
CHICAGO — Local metalhead and avid drinker Stephen Mullins realized he needs to donate increasingly larger amounts of blood and plasma just to achieve the…
Whoa, what a night. Always good to catch up with the old crew when I’m back in town. Glad we could all get together for…