PHILADELPHIA — Local 36-year-old Dennis Waller’s out-of-control alcohol problem can evidently be traced back to the large amount of mid-to-late ‘90s professional wrestling he watched…
MINNEAPOLIS — Local man Greg Johannssen claims it’s too early in the year for Starbucks to release pumpkin spice flavored drinks despite the fact his…
LOS ANGELES — Former child star Ricky Dugan was seen drunkenly Googling “where am I now?” after a night out at the bar, confirmed sources…
I never thought I’d be a cautionary tale. But now I know you should never get blackout drunk in front of your old friends from…
Alcohol and antidepressants—is there a better combo in the world? According to our doctor, “Yes, almost anything, for the love of God stop drinking on…
ARLINGTON, Texas — Americans everywhere took a brief pause from threatening to kill each other online to share that they believe Ingrid Andress should have…
SAG HARBOR, NY — Justin Timberlake announced his next album will be about how the popular alcoholic beverage Long Island Iced Tea is a lying…
Whoa, what a night. Always good to catch up with the old crew when I’m back in town. Glad we could all get together for…
With god as his wittiness, Michael Towne will never wake up violently hungover lying in a bed of empty White Claws and crushed potato chips…
You did it again. The allure of drinking until you blackout was just too tempting, so here you are on another Tuesday, waking up at…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local man Jeremy Squires is celebrating an astonishing 15 years of contemplating sobriety surrounded by friends, family, and bottomless mimosas at his…