FREDERICK, Md. — 48-year-old insurrectionist Mark Fleming is still struggling to understand how nobody noticed that he kidnapped Tiffany Trump during the chaos that took…
WASHINGTON — Only a few hours after being banned on Facebook, President Donald Trump erupted in anger when he realized that he was no longer…
WASHINGTON — Onlookers at the traditional Thanksgiving White House turkey pardoning ceremony were left unsurprised today after President Trump attempted to sneak his own name…
LOS ANGELES — A heartbroken nation looked on with remorse this afternoon as reports tragically confirmed that the wrong game show host had died early…
UNITED STATES OF AMERICA — The coronavirus, the cause of a worldwide pandemic that has killed over one million people thus far, endorsed President Trump…
NEW YORK — A visibly desperate and agitated President Donald Trump loaded his IMI Desert Eagle handgun today and travelled to Manhattan’s 5th Ave. to…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Local voter Martin Frost does not actually want video game character Waluigi to be president, despite writing him in under “president” on…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump once again stoked fear yesterday by warning U.S. citizens that “Antifa terrorists will hide voter fraud in your children’s Halloween…
WASHINGTON — Researchers have discovered that the origin of the “fake news” phenomenon stretches all the way back to 2002, when your friend Dennis McNulty…
CLEVELAND — Moderators for 2020’s first Presidential debate reportedly added a question regarding an issue that’s been hotly contested since the early/mid-2000s: What defines “real”…
BEDMINSTER, N.J. — President Trump has appointed the once-popular 90s alt-rock band Spin Doctors to lead the country’s coronavirus task force, during an impromptu press…
WASHINGTON — RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel announced today that the fourth night of the Republican National Convention will feature wall-to-wall advertising from their new exclusive…
WASHINGTON — Former Donald Trump advisor Steve Bannon was arrested yesterday on charges of reportedly devouring skiers at the bottom of a ski resort for…
WASHINGTON — A broken and sobbing Eric Trump choked down a seventh consecutive can of Goya beans this morning after a week of publicly binging…
RIVERTON, Wyo. — Avid Mass Effect fan Martin Shore plans to opt out of voting in the upcoming 2020 presidential election, citing skepticism that his…