John Danek
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All you pink-haired, piercing-filled, vegan terrorist thugs think being a police officer is just sooooooo easy. You assume it’s all…
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Patrick Coyne
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SIOUX CITY, Iowa. — Local man Derrick Carney was mercilessly beaten within an inch of his life last night not…
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Ryan Danley
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SEATTLE — Seattle Police Lieutenant Chuck Haines is beginning to worry that his dealer may be tampering with his cocaine,…
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Jeremy Kaplowitz
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SANTA MONICA, Calif. — Activision announced that the next game in the Call of Duty franchise, Call of Duty: Uprising,…
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Anna Walsh
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I’ve heard a lot of my fellow Americans question the moral compass and general decency of the fine men and…
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Just Lunning
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ANGEL GROVE, Calif. — Despite receiving absolutely no training of any kind, the adolescent vigilante group “Power Rangers” were reportedly…
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Mark Roebuck
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GOTHAM CITY — Gotham City has passed a controversial new bill that would restrict famed vigilante crime fighter Batman to…
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NEW YORK — Following the removal of episodes of 30 Rock, Community, and Scrubs episodes from streaming services for featuring…
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Matt Shore
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CLEVELAND — Video evidence of police officers leaving incendiary red barrels near protest sites has created controversy online. “The barrels…
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David Sitrick
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NEW DONK CITY — Beloved local hero Luigi was blinded in his left eye at a protest against police brutality…
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