ATHENS, Ga. — Local punk Adam Rondeau was absolutely outraged that a venue did not provide a changing table in the men’s room so he…
BOSTON — An adorable beginning to a relationship happened today as two punks had a meet-cute while accidentally Lady and the Tramp-ing line of cocaine,…
LOS ANGELES — Self-help book “Addicted to Success: Eight Habits of the Highly Motivated” reportedly watched helplessly today as its self-improvement lessons were completely ignored…
WASHINGTON — Legendary hardcore punk band Minor Threat surprised fans by announcing a new outtakes EP from the “Out of Step” recording sessions featuring a…
The seedy nightclub scene has long been a staple of cinema and television, often serving as an inversion of the characters’ everyday lives—a metaphorical (and…
DETROIT — Punk rock loving octogenarian Edith Bettencourt placed a pan of her fresh, warm crack cocaine on her kitchen windowsill to cool, according to…
Cocaine: it’s the fuel that allows the food service industry to even exist. But that wonderful and horrid powder does more than just prop up…
LOWELL, Mass. — Local addict Sam Agnew asked his coke hookup to keep his tab open after the drug dealer upgraded to a cashless system…
INDIANAPOLIS – Local woman Kristen Wise’s pinky nail groomed specifically for the consumption of cocaine also has surprising snack-related benefits, multiple witnesses with red fingers…
BEDFORD, Ind. — Grocery store clerk Max Bryce recently experienced an ego death after ingesting over five grams of psychedelic mushrooms, regained said ego after…
I’ve been hearing a lot of complaining about Ticketmaster and how they have a stronghold on the ticketing industry, but I’m going to tell you…
GRASS VALLEY, Calif. — Local bar The Blasthole is reportedly taking a stand against woke culture by maintaining strictly gendered bathrooms at all times that…
Not to be dramatic, but I would rather listen to a parrot read the Old Farmer’s Almanac from start to finish than hear this woman’s…
NEW YORK – Local punk Chris Lanning was recently caught in the embarrassing act of cutting both an all-beef frank and blow with the same…
DURHAM, N.C. — Local drug hookup Benjamin Wertner is reportedly only known to clients by his first name and one of the assortments of narcotics…