Look, I know that these days everyone goes around acting like they’re President of the Sodom and Gamera fan club. I see their merch everywhere,…
FROSTBURG, Md. — Local mom Beverly Hurd, whose son graduated with a creative writing degree more than a decade ago, is repeating her annual routine…
Alright, so I know I’m probably gonna get some pushback on this and, honestly, I get it. I know my kid is supposed to be…
MILWAUKEE — Local 24-year-old adult person Travis Parkes will be prosecuted in juvenile court next week after a judge’s ruling of, “I mean, look at…
AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk announced earlier this week that he will name his next child in the style of a Sudoku, one of his…
LOS ANGELES — Alt-right conservative commentator Ben Shapiro pulled his pants all the way down around his ankles yesterday to use the urinal in a…
NEW YORK — A group of lifelong friends prepared to have their dynamic changed this week as the announcement was made that a baby would…
PLAINSVILLE, Iowa — Local virgin Andy Wardell grew concerned yesterday that his future sexual intercourse may resemble the acts described in any of the Cannibal…
WASHINGTON — The Department of Defense began compiling a report this week aimed at assessing the viability of gender reveal “bombs” as effective weapons in…
NASSAU, N.Y. — Local parents and staunch anti-vaxxers Shannon and Dane Wittle will promote their youngest child Ayden to the position of oldest child following…
SALEM, N.H. — Local gamer father Jack Ruebens has announced he will stop attempting to forge a relationship with his son Chet, 12, after over…
NEW YORK — NYPD officer Carson Boucher could not record his wife giving birth to their first son last night due to his habit of…
MOORESTOWN, N.J. — Local mom Jerri Donalda is running out of polite euphemisms for describing her “free-spirited” daughter Anne in the annual family newsletter, worried…
DUBLIN, Ohio — Local creep Alex Gallarzo commented openly yesterday afternoon on the future sexuality of a six-year-old girl while in line at the Dublin…
DALLAS — Popular restaurant and entertainment chain Dave & Busters has announced a plan to upgrade all of its franchise locations, adding a tasty new…