Matt Bieker
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CHATTANOOGA — Local three-year-old Joseph Rhoades is finally getting some goddamn respect in his household after finding his father’s semi-automatic…
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David Arriaga
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ORLANDO, Fla. — An alarming new report revealed that Nickelodeon executives have been using the set of ‘90s game show…
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Colleen Nerney
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INDIANAPOLIS — 18-year-old Christian Mingle opened a lawsuit against his parents early yesterday afternoon in regard to his given name,…
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Heather Cook
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DODGE CITY, Kan. — Local adult Amelie Hartman was spotted pathetically trying to keep up with the latest trends by…
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Michael Gursky
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ORWIGSBURG, Penn. — Local heir to a discount furniture dynasty Colby Souders verbally berated the staff at Gutter’s Laser Bowl…
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Patrick Crooks
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PALO ALTO, Calif. — Scientists for Tesla’s robotics team have reported that recent requests from senior management indicate that they…
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SAN DIEGO — Local breadwinner and career bassist Clarissa Khatri announced a leave of absence from his day job after…
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Freelancer
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VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis admitted to being concerned that punishing the French clergy responsible for decades of sexual abuse…
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Freelancer
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VATICAN CITY — Pope Francis admitted to being concerned that punishing the French clergy responsible for decades of sexual abuse…
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Josh Klasco
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DENVER — Local man Liam Cooper announced that a peanut butter and jelly sandwich his girlfriend charitably made for him…
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