LANSING, Mich. — Recently married couple Wendy and Patrick Clark are facing a fourth night without any sleep whatsoever after refusing medical assistance despite constant,…
The worst part of home ownership is the constant maintenance, after property taxes, the insane paperwork of mortgages, and the looming sense that you are…
Well, here we are, the McDonald’s near the park with all the ducks. No dried smears of ketchup on every other table, no divorced dads…
They say that alcohol destroys families. But it’s the only thing keeping mine together. I would know, as someone who is always within arms reach…
SPOKANE, Wash. — Recent college graduate Matt DeLuca lost an argument early yesterday afternoon after his uncle, Gino DeLuca, simply repeated a fact back to…
LAFAYETTE, La. — Exalted indie musicians Justin Vernon, popularly known as Bon Iver, and Sufjan Stevens reportedly had an unexpected, hushed spat backstage at a…
COLUMBIA, S.C. — The bottom half of a pair of Zildjian “Goon Rock” hi-hats owned by local drummer Felix Hevierre expressed a desire to have…
I cannot believe this has to be said out in the open on the internet instead of in private like a reasonable person might do,…
HUNTINGTON, N.Y — Part-time barista and avid Marilyn Manson fan, Scuff Leeway underwent an invasive spine removal surgery in an effort to reach batshit arguments…
EFFINGHAM, N.H. — Phish devotee Pete Selner was told by his wife yet again last week to “get a fucking life,” which pales in comparison…
SACRAMENTO — Video game speedrunner Ashton Clemens insisted that a significant portion of his girlfriend’s orgasms were completed incorrectly, arguing that manual orgasms with non-modified…
What did you just say to me? Why don’t you come over here and say that shit, mother fucker?! Yeah, I didn’t think you, so…
TAMPA, Fla. — Local video game speedrunner Lulu Gardner reportedly changed her boyfriend’s language to Japanese in order to get through an argument with him…
COLUMBIA, Md. – Non-confrontational wuss Samuel Bleck took out decades of built-up frustration today by open-palm slapping drywall in his home and leaving a mild…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Prolific noise musician Tyler Witbank was asked to leave his shared apartment last week for looping and repeating an argument with his…