Press "Enter" to skip to content

Western Addiction Superfan Moshes with Dictionary/Thesaurus Combo

SAN FRANCISCO — Local logophile Kyle Nazareth, the biggest fan of lyrically-advanced band Western Addiction, allegedly moshed with a large Merriam-Webster Dictionary/Thesaurus in hand at their show last week.

“Big words are fuckin’ sick,” said a Cognicide cut-off T-shirt wearing Nazareth, outside of the venue The Bottom of the Hill. “I don’t think these posers really get them like I do, so I’ve been smacking people in the pit with the source material. Plus, just singing along to these songs improved my practice SAT scores by like, 150 points.”

“I listen to their new shit all the way through a few times a day,” he added. “Sometimes my roommates get pissed at me for slapping them and pointing at the speaker every time they rhyme ‘cummerbund’ with “plumber’s fund.’ It’s not the depth, or even the meaning of the lyrics that’s important — it’s showing everyone that I get it and understand what they might mean by cross-referencing just a few sources.”

Members of the band are familiar with Nazareth and his very specific brand of enthusiasm.

“We call Kyle ‘the obsequious sycophant,’” said singer, guitarist and lyricist Jason Hall. “At one show in Stockton, he tried to crowd surf with the reference book like a boogie board, but no one caught him. So we weren’t really surprised he got kicked out of a show for smashing people in the head with a dictionary.”

 

Indeed, other fans were annoyed by Nazareth.

“That guy sucked,” said local punk and fellow fan Rachel Sinkovitz. “Hitting people in the back of the head with a reference book is like… a metaphor for school or something? I was stoked when my girlfriend grabbed it from him and threw it behind the merch table.”

At press time, Nazareth was transcribing rapper Aesop Rock’s lyrics for the zine “Big Words Rhyme Time.”

Shop The Hard Times Webstore Relaunch

Want to support Hard Times? Buy a shirt. We’ll use the money to write more articles.