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Review: Green Day “Dookie”

Each week The Hard Times travels back to review a classic album of the past. Sometimes it’s even a good one. This week we’re taking a closer look at Green Day’s smash hit “Dookie.” Also, if you’re reading this, please send help.

This album is nothing short of legendary. It’s got classics like “Basketcase,” “When I Come Around,” and several other quintessential tracks about getting high and masturbating. It’s so good that I haven’t listened to a single other album in years. That’s because I picked “Dookie” as part of Tower Records’ “Desert Island Album Challenge” promotional campaign back in early 2006, and I’m still stuck on this sandy hellscape in the middle of the ocean today while slowly going mad from dehydration.

Long story short, it was supposed to be a three-day challenge kind of thing, but I’ve been here for seemingly decades now. Starting to think Tower Records shut down entirely and just forgot to pick me up. If I ever get rescued, I vow to only buy CDs from Borders Books and Music.

I still remember the very first time I heard this album though. It wasn’t soon after when I signed some agreement in-store that allowed the music media giant to blindfold me and drop me out of a moving plane onto this desolate beach with nothing but a pocket knife, CD player, and “Dookie.” Got to be honest, their business model doesn’t seem very sustainable.

In terms of the album though, “Longview” seems to be a song about boredom. That one really speaks to me here. So does “Chump” since that’s exactly how I feel after willingly participating in this ridiculous challenge. “Welcome to Paradise” was pretty cool for the first few days I was here because of all the palm trees and sunshine, but the hidden track “All By Myself” now feels more accurate to how I’m feeling.

One silver lining is that I learned how to build a fire, capture fish with my bare hands, and make shelter out of branches, twigs, and leaves. However, at some point, I got so hungry that I had to consume my physical copy of “Dookie” to avoid starvation. As much as I loved listening to this album, I have to say it tastes even better when you haven’t eaten in days.

Score: 5 out of 5 SOS messages