Bob Weird Dead at 78, According To Autocorrect
SAN FRANCISCO — Bob Weird, a founding member of the Grateful Dead, died at age 78 yesterday, according to autocorrect. “There is no Grateful Dead without Bob’s guitar. He was in it from the beginning, all the way back to the Warlocks. Mu…
Couple Has Baby to Save Situationship
POTTSVILLE, Pa. — Local couple Jules Rainier and Victor Trembino welcomed a newborn baby in a last-ditch effort to save their struggling situationship, confirmed sources… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue this tale</a>
Man Will Kill One Hostage an Hour Until His Friends Give Ween a Chance
AITA for Lighting My Homemade Guy on Fire Because Teaching Him Stuff Was Getting Exhausting? — Guest Post by Victor Frankenstein
Okay, so I made a guy. Kind of like how God can make a guy, but I made mine at home out of scrap parts… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue this tale</a>
Erika Kirk Takes Quiet Moment To Mourn With Only Six Confetti Cannons
PHOENIX, Ariz. — A somber Erika Kirk took a quiet, personal moment to mourn her late husband with only six confetti cannons, confirmed sources. “I… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Continue this tale</a>
Trump Is Boasting About an Alleged Land Strike in Venezuela — Here’s Why He Is Still a Pedophile
Loudwire Ranks Mushroomhead Best Nu-Metal Band Named After the Tip of a Penis
WINDSOR, Colo. — Online media magazine Loudwire anointed Cleveland’s Mushroomhead as the best nu-metal band named after the tip of a penis, sources report. “We… <a href="https://thehardtimes.net/" class="font-medium" style="color: #3eb565;" onmouseover="this.style.color='#35a058'" onmouseout="this.style.color='#3eb565'">Get the full story</a>
Music
Bob Weird Dead at 78, According To Autocorrect
SAN FRANCISCO — Bob Weird, a founding member of the Grateful Dead, died at age 78 yesterday, according to autocorrect. “There is no Grateful Dead without Bob’s guitar. He was in it from the beginning, all the way back to…
Man Will Kill One Hostage an Hour Until His Friends Give Ween a Chance
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A local disturbed man took bankgoers hostage and threatened to execute one…
Humiliating: Noise Artist Forgets To Tune Vacuum Cleaner Before Live Set
ROUND ROCK, Texas — Noise artist Ronny Sours made the unforgivable mistake of forgetting to…
Guy Won’t Shut the Fuck up About Being Vegan and Also About Being Moby
LOS ANGELES — A guy overheard talking outside of a local coffee shop refused to…
Ian Mackaye Accused of Selling Out After Listing Old Mattress on Facebook Marketplace
WASHINGTON — Discord Records co-founder and legendary punk frontman Ian MacKaye is facing accusations of…
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