BALTIMORE — A local punk venue is now offering senior discounts to patrons over age 25 amid rising demand for accessible spaces, confirmed owner Johnny…
LOS ANGELES — Exceptionally talented, easy-on-the-eyes, genuinely nice and downright hilarious musician Garret Parker can go right ahead and fuck himself, male sources fuming with…
NEW YORK — A new study by Columbia University has found that ingesting cannabis improves whatever you need to hear to make you feel better…
By now you’ve all seen that viral story about the dying Star Wars fan who was granted a private screening of “Rise of Skywalker,” and…
SINGAPORE — Local heroine and seven-months-pregnant woman Candace Xiao willingly and graciously offered her seat to some dude wearing Chucks during her commute on the…
TULSA, Okla. — Local punk Eddie Abrams’s plans to retire are reportedly contingent upon his dying young and nothing else, according to a meeting with…
PHILADELPHIA — Local man Eric Sullivan still eats with his arm around his plate like a hardened, PTSD-suffering prisoner after growing up as the youngest…
Nice little shop you got here. I like the basic, minimalist approach- you probably keep all the good stuff for yourself, huh? Hey, relax, I’m…
SCRANTON, Penn. — The Menzingers offered yesterday a handful of stamped timecards taken from a local factory to a life-sized effigy of fellow nostalgic songwriter…
CRANSTON, R.I. — Punk father and son team Jerry and Steve Pappas began work today restoring a mint condition 2017 Ford Econoline van to get…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Millennial punk and generally clumsy dolt Tony Drummond bellowed several ironic “Tim Allen” grunts yesterday before accidentally firing a nail through his…
Halloween may be over, but we’ve got something scary to show you. If you were brave enough to read the headline and still click then…
DALLAS — Local punk Denny “Wart” Morrill surprised fellow Dallas Marathon runners yesterday by shitting himself at the very beginning of the race, leaving many…
CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Local death metal enthusiast Cooper Dempsey realized that the lyrics to Cannibal Corpse’s 1994 classic “Fucked With a Knife” might be a…
SAN DIEGO — Drummer and quiet introvert Don Scarpelli acted strangely on Saturday night after entering the blacklight-filled basement of his friend’s kegger, confused partygoers…