VANCOUVER, Canada — Facebook Marketplace seller Teo Aubrey Domingo was firm on his asking price for the stolen band gear he put up for sale,…
CAMBRIDGE, Mass. — A recent Harvard report on the overall health of Americans showed that the residual moisture left behind by lettuce and tomatoes after…
Many of us grew up watching syndicated episodes of the British sitcom “Mr. Bean” starring Rowan Atkinson, wherein he played a largely silent, bumbling bozo…
BALTIMORE — Top neuroscientists at Johns Hopkins University developed an innovative procedure that will allow the human brain to offload Matchbox Twenty lyrics in order…
DALLAS — Scientists at the Centers for Disease Control raised warning flags about a new strain of Hulkamania found in livestock that, if left untreated,…
Feminism is a scary word for men. Like “dentist” or “accountability,” it evokes visceral reactions from guys who think maternity leave is “woke.” The idea…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local rap-rock band Antagonyze released their latest single “Cop Kisser” which they say should act as a blueprint on how to appreciate…
Congratulations! You’ve made it through another week of wildly conflicting information and malaise. You probably don’t deserve a break, but you should take one anyway.…
MAGA Influencer Volunteers to Spend Two Months In El Salvadoran Mega-Prison to Prove It’s Not So Bad
MAGA Influencer Volunteers to Spend Two Months In El Salvadoran Mega-Prison to Prove It’s Not So Bad
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Popular conservative influencer Jake Fowler intends to “own the libs” by spending two months in a notorious El Salvadoran prison to prove…
Let me make one thing perfectly clear right off the bat: I love Pantera. Their particular brand of in-your-face, street-wise heavy metal served me well…
WASHINGTON — Members of the GOP claimed that the opening lyrics to the Misfits’ song “Last Caress” was proof that people abort babies post-birth, confirmed…
INDIO, Calif. — Coachella attendee Kayle Cooper breathed a sigh of relief after discovering the Native American headdress she was going to purchase to wear…
COLUMBIA, Mo. — Punk Charlie Morewin debated whether he should barely learn to play or become a virtuoso upon picking up the bass guitar, sources…
Bro, listen to me. I know you weren’t even gonna come out tonight. Long week. Rent’s late. Life is a fucking joke. But none of…
POTTSTOWN, Pa. — Sarah and Luke Fleming opted to have a child to serve to exempt them from attending any more game nights, according to…