LOS ANGELES — Legendary rock group Weezer celebrated today as their latest record finally completed months of successful laboratory tests on rats and is now…
CHICAGO — Local advertising firm Intuitive Front promoted Sean Graham, their only African-American employee, to the newly created “Chief Diversity Officer” position today without his…
Our deepest, most sincere apologies to the family and friends of 1918 flu survivor Mortimer Pyle. We recently sat down with Mr. Pyle to discuss…
HOUSTON — A dog serving with the Houston Police Department issued a statement today responding to allegations of racism in his department, claiming that he…
NEW YORK — Legendary television producer Lorne Michaels conceded last week that it was a mistake to have the highly infectious novel coronavirus host “Saturday…
LOS ANGELES — The second coming of Jesus was cut short this past Wednesday when LAPD Ofc. Thomas Andrews opened fire on the son of…
As a consumer, I know that I have more options than ever competing for my dollar. If you don’t meet my needs, it’s not hard…
SANTA CRUZ, Calif. — Laid-off sound engineer Logan Green is constantly adjusting the volume levels of his television in order to keep busy while waiting…
WEST LAWN, Penn. — A generation-defining show at local basement venue The Bottleneck was briefly interrupted last night when venue/home owner Doug Stinson had to…
WASHINGTON — Worried about industry typecasting, representatives of local crisis actor Daniel Mauer say he is seeking a wider range of roles, hoping to finally…
NEW YORK — The American Museum of Natural History’s cast bronze and allegedly sentient Christopher Columbus statue was the victim of a mercy killing last…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local middle-aged skateboarder Eddy Tirado impulsively flipped off the security guard standing by the front door of the Chase bank he was…
Being locked down in my apartment for the past few months has given me time to reflect on life and how I spend mine. This…
NEW YORK — Ofc. Peter McKenzie of the NYPD underwent a controversial and dangerous surgery last week to alleviate stress on his abdomen during his…
SEATTLE — White guy Joey Kipling started a two week break from consuming any news late last week, citing discomfort, confusion, and depression as reasons…
