SYDNEY — An enlightening new study from researchers at The University of Sydney found that the majority of sea turtles get straws stuck up their…
WASHINGTON — Abaddon the Destroyer, an immortal demon from the deepest depths of hell, begged an exorcist to free him from the body of the…
Yesterday I woke up to a missed call and voicemail from my dad. He said, “Son, I got something important to tell you. Call me…
I remember when this country had a pair! When I was growing up we didn’t have all the crybabies doing the tweets or the instergram.…
DALY CITY, Calif. — Paul “Sprout Fingers” Brecher, a devoted follower of legendary rock band The Grateful Dead, did his best to appear interested in…
BILLINGS, Mont. — Former music obsessive Paul Yarborough finally achieved bodily immunity to the intoxicating effects of new music following years of detachment and apathy,…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Local punk household, “The Underground Failroad,” is grieving for their microwave, which is considered “no longer functional” after the +30 button gave…
Is your sister pissing you off? Are you in charge of her toddler for the next six hours while she gets sloppy wasted at girl’s…
It’s no secret that our Lord works in mysterious ways. He allows bad things to happen to good people, he buries dinosaur fossils to test…
WORCESTER, Mass. – Local shoegaze band Snooze Pedal thrilled audience members by using half a string of Dollar General Christmas lights to illuminate the stage…
Listen, we’ve all been in this situation before. You take a little break in your day and decide to sneak a peek at your phone.…
It’s getting entirely too hot to be outside and you know what that means: It’s Renaissance Faire season! Baking in a parking lot all day…
EUGENE, Ore. — A local man bun was discovered to be full of gross raisins, sources who had already made it home with the bun…
DETROIT — Frustrated wife Hannah Gerhardt figured out how to install a breathalyzer on her husband’s acoustic guitar which would keep the hardshell case locked…
MOBILE, Ala. — Local family The Jensens are in disbelief after the dog they adopted used his talking buttons to tell a version of “The…