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Opinion: Just Pause It and Let It Load

Look, refreshing the page isn’t doing anything, okay? I think it’s making it worse. We just need to pause it for a while and let it buffer or whatever. Okay? Just wait.

No, not yet. Give it, like, a solid minute.

Okay, now.

See? No more skipping. Okay, we made it through the opening credits. I think we’re good. Agh, shit. It’s doing it again! I guess we didn’t wait long enough. No, don’t reload it! Just PAUSE, okay? We just need to wait longer. No, I said DON’T reload… Ugh, okay fine we’ll start over but pause it first. And we’ll give a really long time. Like five minutes.

Okay, you’re making a face like I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about but I do know what I’m talking about. Please just trust me on this, okay? Look, see the line? See how, like, a tiny part of the line is gray? We need to wait till more of it is gray so that the rest of it can turn grey before the little dot moves past the gray part. That’s how it works.

What do you mean, “explain it” to you? I just did! I’m not a fucking software hacker or whatever. Neither are you! Well, can you explain to me how reloading and making it find its place again works? In, like, extremely technical 1’s and 0’s? No, you can’t. So stop trying to hold my feet to the fire!

No, we are NOT renting it! That’s ridiculous! I’m not forking over $2.99 to Jeff Bezos to watch Roadhouse again when it’s RIGHT HERE! For FREE!

You know what, fuck it. Just hit play and if it keeps freezing, whatever. We’ll just deal with it. Okay? Okay.

Fuck, I can’t do this! Every time it stutters and stops it’s like an icepick in my fucking brain! Okay, you know what? Let’s just find another one. Here, let’s try this one.

Okay, close the porn ad. No, you have to wait till the little square becomes an “x.” No, the “x” that’s showing is, like… like, it’s part of the ad. Like, it’s a trick. You have to wait for the other one. Okay. Now, click on it real fast twice. Because the first click just brings up another ad. You have to trick it! Would you please just let me do it? It doesn’t matter how I know this!

Okay, it’s not working. Let’s just watch Netflix and try again another night, okay? Okay.

Okay. Pretty good date night.