Press "Enter" to skip to content

Opinion: It’s Never Too Late to Start Over Unless You’re Over 35

Just about every study reveals that 9 out of every 10 Americans are unsatisfied with where they are in life. But there’s good news! It’s never too late to start over, begin a rewarding career, and find true happiness. Unless you’re over the age of 35. In which case, pack it in.

Sure, you can try to hit that reset button if you’re getting up there in age. Just remember that the world is no longer your oyster if you’re old enough to have rented “The Pelican Brief” from Blockbuster in 1995. That ship has sailed.

Plus, starting over is hard. You’ve got bills to pay. If you vividly remember the Clinton administration, 9/11, or worse yet, the Macarena, you should absolutely stop Googling “how to become a sports broadcaster for the Chicago Bulls with little to no experience.” Stick it out with what you’ve got.

It’s not your fault either. Society just isn’t ready for an elder intern whose sole job is to post memes on the company’s social media account. It’s not you. It’s them. And Twitter. Also TikTok. Facebook is your home now. Embrace it.

Starting over also means you’d have to possibly accept an entry-level position and take less money with no medical benefits. You’d need to consult your lower back pain and monthly car payment before making these types of swooping life changes.

And now that you’re at the age where you think about a 401(k) and actually know what that means, it’d be really hard to put that on pause and start that Etsy shop where you sell decorative throw pillows in the shape of Danny DeVito’s face. Is the potential for happiness really more important than compound interest?

Look on the bright side. If you’re 35, you only have 30 more miserable years before you retire and then a couple more years after that until you croak. Actually, that’s a really long time. Go ahead and start over. What else are you going to do?