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Opinion: All I Need in Life Is My Axe, My Bike, and My Girlfriend’s Money

Life is crazy, man. It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there and life has its moments of ups and downs, along with tragedy and joy and all that. But what everyone ultimately wants outta life is to just be happy. From the big shot CEOs to the guy bagging groceries, we all just want to live life to the fullest while maintaining success and stability in order to live comfortably.

But not me, babe. I just wanna rock.

You can take your lousy nine-to-five office career or your less-than-minimum-wage factory job and hit the bricks. Cuz all I need in this life is rock n’ roll, my wheels, and my girl to mooch off of.

I ain’t ever gonna be nobody’s puppet. No label can define me and my rock n’ roll destiny. Unless of course we get signed by a big record label. And when that day comes, I’m gonna make it up to my girl for all her help paying for everything by going out on tour for months at a time.

My girl is the love of my life, man. She’s the only girl I’ve ever been with who really gets me and my music. Other women would question their boyfriend as to why a brand new $500 dollar bong shaped like Peter Griffin would be so important to their musical success, but not my chick. She’s a keeper. Especially around tax season.

But until then, I’m gonna channel my heart through my guitar and play the same Metallica riff over and over again until babe comes home to give me some cash for a new pack of strings.