BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Self-proclaimed gender equality ally Sean Donaghy successfully hid his expansive collection of Family Guy and Tosh.0 DVDs deep inside his closet last night before having friends over, according to multiple sources speaking on the condition of anonymity.
“Oh, man… I loved those shows growing up, but I obviously don’t watch them anymore. They’re so problematic,” the 25-year-old male feminist allegedly said before being reassured everyone there was “cool.” “I mean, I might still pop an episode on every now and then, but that’s it. It’d be hard to convince me the web redemption of ‘Charlie Bit My Finger’ wasn’t funny.”
Donaghy, whose DVD collection spans scores of shows his peers have deemed sexist, racist and/or transphobic, knows he faces the risk of exile from his social circle.
“Just, please don’t tell Rebekah I have these DVDs, guys. She would seriously flip out,” Donaghy reportedly begged. “When I met her, I didn’t even know what feminism was, but she’s the only girl who gave me any attention at all in New York, and she likes Black Flag, too. What was I gonna do? Not agree with her when she started talking about how problematic Slip It In is? I just kept nodding and telling her she was right… it all snowballed from there.”
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Sources claim Donaghy became very popular and well-respected in the progressive identity politics scene after attending many shows and feminism workshops at various safe-space collectives and cafés since moving to Brooklyn over one year ago.
“It’s not that I don’t agree with a lot of what I’ve learned hanging out with my new friends here — I get the male privilege thing and all that,” Donaghy said. “I mean, yeah — he’s a problematic asshole and fucked up as all hell, but Daniel Tosh is hilarious. You don’t laugh? Come on. You don’t laugh? What about South Park? You stopped watching, or what?”
Rebekah Mecklinburg, Donaghy’s partner, refused to give a statement to a “patriarchal, multinational, corporate news organization” when approached for comment.