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Audience Wasn’t Sure Door Price Was Worth it Until Fight Broke Out

SAN DIEGO — A fist fight livened up an otherwise forgettable show over the weekend at the Steak House nightclub, according to attendees who, up to that point, felt they wasted their money on the $5 cover charge.

Witnesses confirm most of the audience was apathetic to performances by several local punk bands, and it wasn’t until the first punch was thrown that the crowd perked up.

“[The bands] were really just going through the motions,” said Pete Winstead, who almost dropped his beer during the fight. “Maladapted headlined and somehow got their own lyrics wrong. They even played the same song twice in a row. I thought about leaving early, but then the singer just teed off on this one dude, and suddenly, the place really came alive.”

The fight, which began when Maladapted frontman Paul Clancy mistook a fan’s beer for his own, escalated quickly. Clancy allegedly brandished his mic stand before the audience member tackled him with two of his friends, inspiring the rest of the band to jump in as well. While none could be reached for comment, witnesses admit the fight was the highlight of the night.

“I couldn’t look away!” said Sarah Wilson, who was texting her mother when the fight broke out. “It was mesmerizing. One guy’s shirt got ripped off, and there was a lot of blood, but you couldn’t tell whose blood it was. It was complete mayhem.”

Venue manager and owner Brad Tyler kept a positive outlook despite the property damage caused by the fight.


“They totally fucked up my PA, and the soundboard got wet, but this was the most excited I have ever seen a crowd. People actually tried to buy a ticket to next week’s show,” Tyler said. “If we can really feed the bloodlust, we might even sell out! I’ve got to start making t-shirts. Is Worldstar still a thing?”

Tyler, who revealed he now plans to book rival bands on the same nights just to instigate conflict, hopes the change will pay off in the end.

“Next month’s shows are going to be crazy,” he predicted. “Gonna be some real rumbles. But that’s what happens when you book both Orthodox and Koncentration Kamp Kounslers on the same night. That’s a show people will pay a little extra to see. Not to mention, all the cash we’re gonna make selling shirts as emergency tourniquets.”