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Woman Too Embarrassed to Answer Security Question About Favorite Band in High School

SIMI VALLEY, Calif. — Local woman Ashley Harris refused to answer her bank’s security question this week claiming the prompt “What was your favorite band in high school?” is too embarrassing to answer, confirmed customer service records.

“I never thought I’d have to admit such personal information to a stranger. I used to be really into Boys Like Girls in high school, but I shouldn’t have to relive that trauma to access my own money, ” said Harris. “This is humiliating. It would be way less intrusive if they asked something like ‘What is your favorite sexual position?’ Or ‘How old were you when you lost your virginity?’ I feel violated having to talk about this. I know I’m going to be judged for mistakes I made a long time ago, but I’ve changed since then! I haven’t listened to ‘The Great Escape’ in over a decade!”

People familiar with Harris’s fandom confirmed that she definitely should be embarrassed to have such shitty taste.

“Ashley was obsessed with a lot of trash music during the Myspace days. But we all were, and we shouldn’t have to constantly relitigate those bad decisions,” said childhood friend Sarah Williams. “She had Cute is What We Aim for lyrics written on her backpack. Her room was covered in Cobra Starship posters. She actually wanted to get the weird Mayday Parade hat guy tattooed on her lower back, but luckily the only shop in town refused such a stupid idea. I’m just glad we all were able to move past that, and the only permanent reminder we have are the snakebite-piercing scars we have on our lips.”

Customer service representatives say they often encounter embarrassing answers to benign security questions.

“One common question is ‘Where did you meet your spouse?’ and instead of people putting a city, or even a specific restaurant they will get a bit too personal and have the answer be something like ‘The anal-play room at the sex dungeon,’ and it’s tough to stay professional when that happens,” said PNC Customer Support Specialist Brian Martinez. “It can be sad though. Last week the security prompt was ‘What was the name of your childhood best friend?’ and the person’s answer was ‘Nobody, I’ve always been alone, so alone.’”

At press time, Harris decided to permanently lose access to her savings account rather than answer the question.