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Woman “Haha, Yeahs” Her Way Through 3-Day Music Festival

TAOS, N.M. — Local woman Anne Naus was forced to “Haha, yeah” her way through a three-day alternative music festival this weekend to combat the men in attendance talking at her, pitying sources confirmed.

“At first, I tried to talk to them… but when the fifth guy interrupted me to explain the difference between a British IPA and a New England Style IPA, I had no choice but to just say, ‘Haha, yeah,’ and nod and sort of zone out on my phone for the rest of the conversation,” said Naus. “I don’t even think he noticed, though, because he still went on a 10-minute ramble about why America needs Bernie in 2020.”

Fellow women in attendance empathized with Naus’ efforts to escape conversations with the “Haha, yeah” tactic.

“She made desperate eye contact with me from across the room a few times, but I didn’t want to get roped into any conversation about Tame Impala’s ‘old stuff’ either,” said concert-goer Allie DePinto. “I definitely considered offering her refuge in my tent, though. Maybe next time.”

After 42 hours, the men’s blatant lack of self-awareness forced Naus to disconnect herself from her surroundings.

“I turned on autopilot the moment that I heard Joe Rogan’s name,” said Naus. “Thinking about it, though, one guy might’ve asked me if I saw where his kid went, but I couldn’t risk another man telling me to listen to Pile.”

Reportedly, Naus’ defense mechanism began to turn to habit following three days of “Haha, yeah”-ing boring, narcissistic men.

“I told her that her nachos came to $4.75, and she just said, ‘Haha, yeah,’ as she stared cross-eyed into the distance with a glazed look over her face,” said food truck vendor Kyle Wilson. “Then she handed me the money and walked away without even taking the nachos. I wonder what her damage was.”

At press time, Naus was brainstorming more nuanced conversational escape methods for her next concert, after saying “Haha, yeah” to a guy for over an hour led to her backing up slowly over a low cliff.

Photo by Mirinda Moriarty.