ATHENS, Ga. — Beloved local bar and music venue Whiskey Dick McGraw’s is facing backlash from confused and disappointed punks due to the apparently above-standard safety precautions, orderly ticket sales and hygiene standards at a show for folk-punk band “Sproingus” Wednesday night.
“It was atrocious,” said Sproingus vocalist and “rhythm” guitarist Alex Cromwell. “Vomit everywhere; crying, filthy, unsupervised toddlers; a dude with a head injury screaming about the government–those are all staples of punk shows, and what I expect. And this place had none of them. There were single file ticket lines, security that wasn’t taking part in the mosh pit… I think I even saw someone get carded. I mean you wouldn’t go to a Phish show and then get mad at the people selling nitrous out of balloons. It was disgraceful to the Sproingus name.”
Show-goers such as Athens scene legend Lonny “Long Lankin” Lautrec were all too eager to voice their displeasure.
“I lost my right leg at a Misfits show in ‘83,” said Lautrec, who is best known for a 1987 restraining order filed by the members of REM. “It got torn off by a gang of dudes dressed like they were in ‘Plan 9 From Outer Space’ and then moshed up to the stage. Jerry Only picked it up and started playing it like it was a bass. He even signed it for me. It’s hanging above my fireplace at home. It kills me to think that today’s young punks might not get that same experience. Whiskey Dick’s really dropped the ball.”
For the venue staff, however, the heightened security and orderliness was not meant to ruin anyone’s good time, but simply a response from too many bad experiences.
“We love being a place where Athens punks can come and cut loose,” said bar owner and titular “Dick” Richard McGraw. “But at a certain point, you just have to be mindful. Too many of our shows have ended with some poor janitor having to go into the bathroom with a hose because someone wrote ‘party girls don’t get hurt’ on the bathroom wall in feces. We all want to be punks. But what does that mean? Is the punk rock lifestyle about being nasty and gross and vulgar? No! It’s about following the rules and staying safe. That’s how everybody has a good time.”
At press time, Sproingus was packing their gear into the 2005 Pontiac Aztek with malfunctioning airbags which serves as their tour bus.