AMARILLO, Texas — Right wing ska band ‘The Outska Josey Wales’ announced their new political message at a recent show after unveiling a ‘thin checkered line’ flag, enthused sources confirmed.
“Every time we grab our horns and take that stage we’re laying our lives on the line to protect law-abiding rude boys from total anarchy punk, and that’s what the ‘thin checkered line’ flag represents,” said Outska Josey Wales frontman Clint Walsh, adjusting his Punisher logo fedora. “The woke mob might keep trying to cancel us by not coming to any of our shows, but our upbeat brand of right-wing ska is waking up the true patriots one honk at a time. And if you don’t like it, we’ll put a checkered van up your ass, courtesy of the U.S. of A.”
Local punk Tom Pearson was familiar with the ska band after performing at the same gigs in the past, but had noticed that the band had recently become more outwardly conservative.
“I don’t know what happened, I used to see them at shows and they seemed like pretty normal dudes—well, normal for a ska band—but in the last few years they took this hard right turn. Now they keep ranting about how reggae is too woke, and try to start ‘Skall Lives Matter’ chants with the crowd,” said Pearson. “It’s kinda hard to take their message seriously when they give this big speech and then the trombonist starts dancing during their song ‘The Skank Replacement Theory’.”
Harvey Gleason, head of the Brass Militia record label, explained that the band was part of a new patriotic ska wave sweeping the nation.
“We’re assembling an army of proud Skamerican patriots to take back this nation from the criminals and the immigrants, and we have bands like Streetlight Manifest Destiny and Toot Nukem that are ready to answer the call,” said Gleason, posting his musical manifesto to X (formerly Twitter). “The sheeple can keep putting their heads in the sand, but our right-wing populist ska wave can’t be denied any longer—once Trump is back in the White House, our Brass Militia will Make America Skank Again.”
The Outska Josey Wales later announced they would be expanding their merch line with yellow ‘Don’t Skank On Me’ flags.