PORTLAND, Ore. — Local 49-year-old Corey Nulf was a self-proclaimed feminist until anyone around mentions musician Courtney Love, confirmed sources who turned off “The People…
LOS ANGELES — Gavin Rossdale, the frontman of the popular ‘90s rock band Bush, disclosed that the band’s hit single was supposed to be titled…
WEST HARTFORD, Conn. — A previously too-cool-for-school music snob is reportedly just inebriated enough to loudly appreciate AC/DC’s “You Shook Me All Night Long” playing…
PITTSBURGH – Philip Hansley, a self-proclaimed “scholar and devotee” of the progressive rock genre, expressed his outward frustration about having to wait for an unskippable…
SEATTLE — Legendary underground band Vomit Asylum admitted they would love to break through to the mainstream with a song adored by the masses that…
TAMPA, Fla. — The National Association of Wedding Planners overwhelmingly voted Peaches’ song “Fuck The Pain Away” as the worst for mother-son dances at weddings…
Shoegaze music and having fun in a group setting don’t typically go together. That makes sense when you consider this genre is best enjoyed by…
HAMDEN, Conn. — A local 49-year-old man wearing a Nirvana t-shirt was trounced after ruthless interrogation when he failed to name three Kohl’s locations despite…
WASHINGTON — A recent survey conducted by the Pew Research Center found alarming evidence that the majority of Americans confidently believe that prehistoric dinosaurs walked…
LAFAYETTE, Ind. — Leading climate analysts at Purdue University are warning that global warming could cause Weezer’s Blue Album to be entirely red by 2035,…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local nu metal guitarist and longtime imbecile Mike “Grundbutter” Hobbes of Synapse Flux somehow managed to lose his pick inside his electric…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Members of rockabilly octet Eddie Mercury and the Cougars recently took a paternity test to determine who’s the real daddy-o of scene…
WASHINGTON — United States Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy confirmed that the deadly epidemic of male loneliness in America finally ended after an unknown person…
Long Island has a lot going for it. It’s got a couple of beaches, bagels, and more emo bands per capita than anywhere else in…
CHICAGO — Mcdonald’s is finally honoring beloved musician Wesley Willis by announcing he would be the face of their latest celebrity meal, which is expected…