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Reports of Leaked New Bon Iver Album Turn Out to Just be a Local Barred Owl

PORTLAND, Ore. – Local music snob Tyler Milton recently heard a local barred owl and mistook the bird’s hoots for a leak of Bon Iver’s new album, sources already tweeting about it report.

“Well, I was walking alone by this cluster of trees near my band’s rehearsal space, as I do when I’m looking for inspiration,” said Milton. “And that’s when I heard it. It really stopped me dead in my tracks. I’d recognize Justin’s dulcet tones anywhere. Then I started to hear these echoe-y type drums in the distance that melted in with the hooting and some guitars from the studio. You know, so totally ‘The Wolves (Act I and II).’ I can’t believe I got to hear it in such an intimate setting, what a beautiful moment.”

Ornithologist Dr. Myra Clarke shared her insight into the situation.

“When I heard the recording it was inarguably a barred owl, which does make sense as they’re quite common here in Portland,” Clarke, who also happens to be a Bon Iver enthusiast, explained. “It’s an understandable mistake. That being said, in most professional opinions, Mr. Vernon’s voice more resembles the hoot of a Great Horned Owl. As for that banging in the background? Sounded to me like it was probably just construction.”

Grammy-winning artist James Blake, who collaborated with Bon Iver on the single “Forest Fire,” provided an insider’s look into the history between Mr. Vernon and owls.

“Of course, given the name of the song, it’s fairly obvious that we talked a lot about the sorts of sounds woodland creatures make. Squirrels seemed too chittery and frog croaking just didn’t really go with the vibe. We started brainstorming about birds and naturally ended up on owls,” Blake thoughtfully recounted. “With Justin’s signature falsetto and wise, yet kind disposition, an owl just made sense. So yes, we did use owls as inspiration for Justin’s vocals in the track, and I’m thrilled to be able to finally share that with the public.”

At press time, The National Audubon Society approached Bon Iver with an exclusive collaboration opportunity available via an obscure streaming service no one wants to sign up for.