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REPORT: Bandmate Controlling Music Added At Least Three Hours to Trip

CLEVELAND, OH – Sources confirmed earlier today that the band’s trip to their next gig in was extended by what must have been three hours, all thanks to bassist Dave “DJ D-Strum” Mitchell’s “eclectic” music choices. Mitchell, who insisted on having the aux cord for the entirety of the journey, reportedly took the band on a wild auditory ride through obscure B-sides, 20-minute progressive rock epics, and what sounded like whale songs.

Lead guitarist Jenna Thompson recounted the trip, stating, “I could’ve sworn we were trapped in some kind of time warp. Every time I thought we were nearing the venue, Dave would put on another 10-minute track of what he called ‘post-modern deconstructed reggae.’ I felt like I aged a decade.” Drummer Mike “Scabby” Rodriguez chimed in, noting that Mitchell’s decision to play the entire discography of an unknown Mongolian throat singing band was “definitely a choice.”

When reached for comment, Mitchell seemed unfazed by his bandmates’ complaints. “Look, it’s about the journey, not the destination. And if that journey includes a deep dive into the ambient sounds of a rainforest at night, then so be it.” The rest of the band has since decided that for the return trip, the aux cord will be democratically rotated every hour.

DJ D-Strum’s “Time-Warping” Playlist:

  1. Subterranean EchoesSounds of the Underground Sewer Systems Vol. 3
  2. Tuning InSitar Sessions with Ravi Anand (30-minute tuning special)
  3. Whale’s LamentDeep Ocean Conversations
  4. Ambient AlleyCity Nights: The Sound of Distant Traffic and Occasional Cats
  5. Fridge Nocturne in D MinorHousehold Appliances Unplugged
  6. Gregorian GrooveMonks Meet Techno: Chants Remixed
  7. Lost in the LibraryAmbient Sounds of Page Turning and Hushed Whispers
  8. The Joe Rogan Experience
  9. (unclear what this one was)
  10. Elevator EuphoriaMuzak Classics: The Extended Cuts
  11. Dial-Up DreamsInternet Sounds of the ’90s: A Nostalgic Connection
  12. Zen and the Art of Lawn MowingSuburban Soundscapes: Grass Cutting Edition
  13. Crickets’ ConcertoNighttime in the Meadow: A Six-Hour Epic
  14. The Silent Scream of a TeapotKitchen Chronicles: Boiling Point
  15. Clockwork LullabyTick Tock: The Grandfather Clock Sessions

Note: Playlist duration is approximately 15 hours, but feels like an eternity. Listener discretion is advised.