CHICAGO — Local man Nicholas Braun completely rearranged his vinyl record collection in order to achieve optimal impressiveness for his upcoming date with Alison Prenwich,…
LINCOLN, Neb. — A local woman was seen performing life-sustaining measures on her Marlboro Menthol cigarette after finding it barely clinging to life at the…
Punk Makes Uneasy Truce With Security Guy as Only Two People Left In Office Building Who Still Smoke
Punk Makes Uneasy Truce With Security Guy as Only Two People Left In Office Building Who Still Smoke
SPOKANE, Wash. — Office punk Kory Strawser recently formed a tepid peace with the security guard at her day job when both came to the…
NORFOLK — A recent report found that copies of the photo zine, Put It All On Red, are still available despite initial claims 18 months…
NEW YORK — Masked poser Cecilia Munoz was relieved she didn’t have to pretend to know the words at a recent Turnstile show last Thursday…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local straight edge man Hal Pemulis was arrested and booked into Douglas County Department of Corrections after kicking his fathers ass for…
PHILADELPHIA — Straight edge punk Marieka Layton is definitely getting screwed over at this tapas restaurant when her friends decide they’re going to split a…
BOSTON — A local straight edge man battling cancer admitted his biggest regret in life was how infrequently he knocked alcoholic drinks out of unsuspecting…
LODI, N.J. — Angsty third grader Billy Monroe reportedly caused a stir among Halloween revelers when he questioned the identity of a local mall Danzig…
BALTIMORE — Latest reports from staff and showgoers at historic venue The Crab Trap confirmed that the strange puddle of unknown origin is still present…
SPOKANE, Wash. — An adorable bandana-clad dog seen frequenting the town skate park is rumored to be a human under a powerful curse from a…
CHICAGO — Touring steampunk band The Death Gaskets’s frustrated venue staff when their tour rider was revealed to be nothing more than an extensive list…
SEATTLE — A local property management company announced they will begin offering fully furnished punk houses which will include a guy who eats all the…
PITTSBURGH — Local dog and DIY show regular, Puffy, was spotted being among countless esteemed venue supporters who have been known to piss on the…
BALTIMORE — Friends of local mom-to-be Vivian Wilburg have been taking advantage of her mandatory sobriety and using her as a designated driver since her…