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Prog Rock Drummer’s Newest Cymbal Just For Decoration

BOSTON — Local prog rock drummer Anthony St. Reed of the outfit Milton’s Quill debuted his new cymbal that’s “just for decoration,” confirmed sources who had some follow-up questions.

“I just thought this new crash tied the kit together,” St. Reed said while also browsing for decorative floor toms online. “I didn’t really test how well it sounds nor did I even try it out at the store — that’s what the other 17 cymbals are for. But placing it in the right spot where the light reflects off it is the chef’s kiss. We prog rockers aren’t known for our flashiness, so I’m happy to add some razzle dazzle while a rat-a-tat-tat. This cymbal is merely for the audience’s visual enjoyment.”

St. Reed’s aesthetically pleasing cymbal caught the attention of the only woman in attendance at yesterday’s Milton’s Quill show.

“I mean, it just made the whole kit POP!” said Michelle Sullivan, who attended the show with her boyfriend. “As someone who watches a lot of design shows on HGTV, I loved what he was trying to do here. The size, the color, the symmetry — all impressive. Even impressive enough to look past the two cowbells he plays. The cymbal was elegant yet screamed, ‘HERE I AM!’ This new addition made the band’s three-hour set easier to watch. I will definitely be attending their next show to get a better look at that percussive marvel.”

St. Reed’s new cymbal even caught the attention of local players, most of them not currently in bands.

“As a fellow skinsman, I’ve been tallying how often he’s hit that new crash,” said local drum expert Dan Cleardale. “My stats indicate he’s lagging behind compared to the other cymbals in his kit. Like, by a large margin. For instance, he’s already hit his splash 352 times in their first two songs, but he barely touched that crash during his 12 minute solo. If that were me, I’d be playing so much tighter if I had that cymbal. There should be more sticks marks on that bad boy!”

At press time, Milton’s Quill guitarist was seen buying a new full-stack amplifier that would be used only as an on-stage ornament during upcoming shows.