NEW YORK — Local fashionable and slim brothers John and Bob Bedword are sick of being mistaken for a synth pop duo at a local bar, confirmed sources who could swear they were in one.
“I’ve never listened to synthesizer pop and refuse to until I stop hearing about it,” said the older Bedword brother in his thick European accent. “We run a small time tailor shop together and prefer to look professional with our variety of custom blazers. I wear my sunglasses indoors because I have a sensitivity issue. Bob doesn’t wear eyeliner, that’s just our genetics. We don’t know about Yazoo, Yello, or any other obscure ‘80s act. We were born in the ‘90s and only listen to Gin Blossoms, for fuck’s sake.”
Several patrons were disappointed after discovering the brothers weren’t who they appeared to be.
“You know how hard it is to find a good synth pop act these days? I want some live music to dance to but also make me a little depressed and horny. You know, what good music is supposed to do,” reported Susan Michaels, a customer seen wearing an Erasure button. “When they introduced themselves to me as The Bedword Brothers I was like ‘hell yeah’ but then he handed me their business card which featured an over-saturated graphic of them leaning on each other. They then said they’ll give me a discount. Very confusing. Just play some Gary Numan-type music or get the hell out of my face.”
Manager of the bar, Bruce Hefner, couldn’t believe they weren’t able to perform that night.
“Tonight’s our open mic night and was really excited for some Sparks vibes. Looks like it’s gonna be mostly acoustic this week yet again,” Hefner stated, looking longingly at the framed Yellow Magic Orchestra album on the wall. “All I’ve ever wanted was to see a nice synthy new wave band show up to one of these but I fear it’ll never happen. I told them that they are welcome to perform a different week if they’d like as well as get free drinks but one of the brothers just sighed and walked away. They should really consider updating their wardrobes to avoid confusion.”
At press time, four guys in hazmat suits arrived to address a chemical spill, but everyone was almost positive they were a DEVO cover band.