BAY CITY, Mich. — President of R&L Composites Inc. Stan Bratonski had just about enough of nu-metal bands breaking into his factory after hours to film their music videos, sources report.
“I get a call from ADT every time the alarm goes off, so I’m constantly having to drive here in the middle of the night to kick them out,” Bratonski complained. “We manufacture composite components for the aerospace industry here. In no way is this facility meant to house nu-metal bands playing their songs in the middle of the floor while surrounded by strobe lights and headbanging fans. They’ve even started bringing in caged fences for them to climb while the bands play inside. I’m going to have to hire armed guards, as it’s just getting ridiculous.”
Nu-metal singer Ricky Schizo of the band IN-Sanitarium provided his side of the story.
“This place is a favorite filming location for every nu-metal band in town,” Schizo admitted. “The dim lighting and industrial setting perfectly match the brooding nature of our music. My band sneaked in here last month to film the video for our song ‘Back Down or Bleed,’ and it turned out amazing. We almost didn’t get to do it because the band Sykotic showed up at the same time wanting to shoot their video, but we were able to compromise and have them film over in the filament winding department. I don’t know what the nu-metal community will do if we can no longer come here.”
Manufacturing expert Regina Eckert weighed in on the nation-wide issue.
“This is a very common complaint amongst owners of dimly lit factories,” Eckert said. “The nightly infestation of mesh tank top-clad rockers can be overwhelming, and the messes they leave behind can actually cause issues for unwitting employees in the morning. Few people know this, but the factory where Sevendust filmed the video for ‘Denial’ actually burned down the next day because a puddle of hair gel left by one of the extras caused a fire with an industrial oven. I suggest Mr. Bratonski have his second shift set out bug foggers and mousetraps before they leave to discourage these bands. I would also recommend barbed wire around the premises, but it’s likely the bands would steal it and convert it into jewelry.”
At press time, Bratonski was hit with a lawsuit from one of the trespassers who lost his leg after getting his Tripp pants caught in a machine.