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Now That We’ve Seized the Means of Production, Does Anyone Here Have Managerial Skills?

We’ve done it, comrades! We fought the bourgeoisie tooth and nail and ultimately seized the means of production. We can remake the world in our utopian image. We can rally together, paving the way for a new working class that upholds equity and meritocracy and will hopefully inspire others around the world to do the same. That said, we’re pretty fucking disorganized right now. Does anyone here have managerial skills?

To clarify: we don’t want management experience. If you have that, let us know so we can hang you like the others.

We have to get our shit together quickly, while the fire is still burning. And I mean that literally. The fires that resulted from our merciless revolt are still burning all over this factory and we will all asphyxiate if we don’t do something about it soon. At this point, someone who just knows how to build a spreadsheet could be a big help.

The world is watching. And we can’t have them see us looking all disheveled and prole-like. Tuck that shirt in, comrade! In fact, we should probably institute a dress code. And a work schedule. Can anyone here help take the lead on that?

You know what, if no one is willing to step up and take some charge around here, I will. Within mere days of my leadership, we will be ready to show the world our perfect society! Hey, wait, what are you guys doing with that noose?