WRENTHAM, Mass. — Proud death metal fan parents Danica and Brandon Asheim were so excited about their five-year-old son’s first attempt at drawing a horrific…
APPLETON, Wisc. — Hot Topic co-workers, Brandy Graff and Dilan Hoffstedter, were “hella stoked” to welcome healthy twin boys conjoined by a single dreadlock, into…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Marcus Ulrich, the lead singer of local thrash metal band Christknuckle, was reportedly spotted at Walgreens asking employees which black hair dye…
BIG FLATTS, N.Y. — 51-year-old nu-metal fan Ricky Clud recently expressed that Saliva’s early 2000s classic “Click Click Boom” was the secret to getting hyped…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — DJ Crockroach of famed metal act Assfault Muffinz admitted that he spends most of his time on-stage at the band’s gigs listening…
TACOMA, Wash. — Atmospheric black metal band Galadriel’s Mirror pushed back against critics who claim their only influence is “The Lord of the Rings,” claiming…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Preston Gage, guitarist for the legendary drone metal band Annulvoid, is kicking himself after playing the wrong note for an entire show,…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Doctors across the country warned new and prospective parents that excessive use of white noise machines might lead infants to start drone…
SMYRNA, Del. — High school metal band Drunk Blacksmith made an adolescent pact that if when they’re all “as old and unappealing as stale dogshit”…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local drone metal fan Judson Riley was recently seen in his neighborhood gas station murmuring, “What band is this?” as a Slurpee…
MINNEAPOLIS — A local man’s CD-RW containing Papa Roach’s album “Infest” pleaded for its dear life for him to give it a second chance, sources…
DUBAI — Members of the Saudi royal family were are in full damage control today after it was revealed Metallica’s first-ever show in the country…
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — The Grammy Awards’ nomination committee preemptively slated Metallica, Slipknot, and Ghost as nominees for Best Metal Performance in 2025, 2026, and…
Lamb of God is a groove metal band from Richmond, Virginia. The classic line-up—vocalist Randy Blythe, guitarists Mark Morton and Willie Adler, bassist John Campbell,…
DAYTON, Ohio — Managers at a local Guitar Center decided not to offer a sales position to Brandon McDougal after he miserably failed the “Black…