LOS ANGELES — Indie-rock band Weezer allegedly ran out of colors that are visible to the human eye on the 400nm to 750nm spectrum to name their albums after, and will now use a shade that is only visible to the mantis shrimp and several bee species.
“I mean after having the blue, green, red, white, teal, black, and white album we kind of ran out of colors,” said Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo. “We brainstormed several ideas such as making the album glow in the dark, but the radium paint we used caused our drummer’s fingers to rot off before ultimately killing him. So we changed tactics. And just like my artistic vision is beyond the scope of mere mortals, we decided the new album cover should also be out of people’s vision, literally.”
Fans of Weezer were not thrilled with this marketing choice.
“Even attempting to gaze at this new album is a total mindfuck,” said longtime Weezer fan Arnold Shortman. “My mind is incapable of registering what I’m even seeing. It’s like a black void that sucks you in that makes you question if you’re alive. And yet, I feel like I can see everything and nothing upon viewing this album. My nose starts to bleed and I hear the voices of angels calling to me. This ‘Fekete Album,’ the new word they invented to describe this color, is cursed, I tell you.”
While humans may not be able to properly view the album cover, a large community of mantis shrimp who happen to enjoy the band have been enjoying it immensely.
“Oh man this is the best album cover I’ve seen in years,” said local mantis shrimp Jeremy Prawn. “I can’t believe Rivers finally admitted that about himself! Oh, what’s that? You can’t read the messages because you’re some cone lacking homo sapien moron? I guess you’re not a real Weezer fan if you can’t experience the mind bending reality that is the Fekete Album. Why don’t you go and listen to some Coldplay or something instead, you fucking poser.”
At press time it was confirmed that Weezer’s next album would be pressed using dark matter and cost $87 trillion to produce.