WASHINGTON — Legendary frontman and Airbnb Superhost Ian Mackaye was confused last week when a couple renting a room in his legendary Dischord House didn’t take advantage of photo opportunities on the property’s iconic porch.
“This was one of the most difficult couples I’ve ever dealt with,” said Mackaye while making breakfast for the guests to share. “When they were checking in, I gave them a tour of the porch and told them where they should sit to recreate the iconic photo, and they had no reaction. Then I showed them the skateboard with the ‘Out of Step’ logo figuring they would shit themselves… but they just said it was ‘cool’ and asked if there was any good pizza nearby.”
The pair in question, Tamara and Carson Haddock, admitted that Mackaye made them feel uncomfortable during their stay.
“We chose this room because it was so highly rated: the reviews were excellent and people raved about the host, saying it was a “dream come true” meeting him. We both thought it was weird that people were so excited about an Airbnb host, but we didn’t think much of it,” said Mrs. Haddock while sitting quietly in the bedroom, waiting for Mackaye to leave the house. “Last night, he kept us up until midnight showing us crusty, old tapes from the ’80s. He finally left us alone after my husband said we didn’t know who Bad Brains were — Ian got super red in the face, went upstairs without saying a word, and slammed the door.”
Airbnb customer service workers admitted this is not the first complaint they’ve had regarding Mackaye’s brand of hospitality.
“Overall, people staying at ‘Dischord House’ have had positive experiences,” said Airbnb employee Aiden Blair. “But when there is a negative review, it’s extremely negative. One guest said Mr. Mackaye called him an ‘ice cream-eating son of a bitch’ for leaving a small stain on the carpet, while another reported Mr. Mackaye shoved him for vaping on the property. This same person claimed Mr. Mackaye handed him a $5 bill and told him to get lost.”
As of press time, the Haddocks were undergoing an unsolicited, three hour lecture from Mackaye detailing how he “never meant to start a movement.”