ST. LOUIS — Local Rush fan and high school senior Micah Kirby spent the entirety of the make out game Seven Minutes in Heaven playing “Working Man” by Canadian prog rock trio Rush to his fellow classmate Kaylee White, confirmed sources.
“I’m not sure the exact rules of the game, but there’s nothing more heavenly than the sound of Geddy Lee’s voice for seven consecutive minutes,” said Kirby. “Time sure flies by when you’re listening to a Rush song, so it’s hard to balance that feeling with really wanting the other person to savor the instrumental competence, creative structure, and sly breakdown of capitalism. I just wish there was more time for Kaylee to hear something longer and more expansive from their catalog, but I guess that’s just not how the game works. Anyway, I just hope we get another turn. Next time I’m playing her the three and half minute-long ‘Fly By Night.’ Twice.”
White was not terribly impressed with the experience.
“It wasn’t until minute five of the same exact song that I realized that we were not going to be making out in this closet whatsoever,” said White. “He’s not a bad looking guy. Actually, I always thought he was kind of cute. The only other time I’d talked to him before was when I was wearing a kimono and he came up and told me about something called 2112. There were priests? And a kid finding a guitar in some rubble? He went on for a while, just like at the party. I don’t know, I thought I looked pretty good that night. He didn’t even try to kiss me — he just told me that we’re going to make this count, played some song, and then closed his eyes while we listened to it. I thought about kissing him, but I don’t even think he remembered I was there.”
Young adult psychologist Dr. Josephine Wilson believed there was a deeper meaning.
“Certain young men get so attached to the minutiae of their interests that they forget about the human aspects that lend meaning to those interests as well as when it’s time to shut up and make out already,” said Dr. Wilson. “In this case, Rush is standing in for person-to-person connection. Micah thinks he’s relating to people through his fandom, but it’s having the opposite effect. He’s alienating because he can’t stop talking about the bass shredding long enough to ask someone how they’re doing. Kissing a girl? Completely out of the question. Also, he picked ‘Working Man’? Kind of a poser choice, honestly.”
As of press time, Kirby played the Rush song “Limelight” to a girl in lieu of kissing her during a game of spin the bottle.