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Guitarist Starts True Crime Podcast to Investigate Who Keeps Messing with Amp Settings

MILWAUKEE — Short Division guitarist Steve Hernandez has started a true crime podcast to share his findings as he investigates who is changing the settings on his guitar amp, according to the frustrated musician.

The 9 not 3 podcast is expected to hit iTunes early next week.

“It would happen every time I’d get to our practice space — my amp settings would be different than I left them. And I told the bands that share the space to never touch my knobs. I was real clear about that,” said Hernandez while finishing up the first episode. “The one that pushed me over the edge was when I found my Gain 2 knob at a 3 instead of a 9. It’s always at a 9. Since podcasts and documentaries are the only way major crimes are solved these days, I figured it was my best chance.”

Bandmates say the issue is an ongoing problem for Hernandez.

“As soon as we get in, the first thing he does is run for his amp.” said bassist Dawn McGougle. “He won’t let anyone touch their instruments until he’s documented everything. He suspects the Silver Shitters guitarist is messing with it, but he can’t prove anything yet.”

Hernandez is a dedicated fan of the NPR true crime podcasts Serial and S-Town, which inspired him to document the investigation.

“I think my bandmates are fine with it, because it could boost our profile if we go the podcast route, but I just need justice. I gotta find out who touched my amp,” said Hernandez. “I don’t care what sort of dirt I dig up. This might not be pretty, but it has to be done.”

The list of suspects is vast, as Short Division shares a Bay View practice space with the Silver Shitters, Numb Chomsky, Fly by Night: A Rush Tribute, Camptown Blazin’ and The Coleslaw Sisters. Hernandez claimed he plans to interview every last band member until he finds the culprit.

“The one band that wouldn’t talk to me? Silver Shitters, those fucking snakes,” said Hernandez. “Problem is, if they don’t talk to me, I don’t have a way to end this thing.”

The Silver Shitters recently announced their own counter podcast to debunk the “biased detective work” of 9 not 3. The band released a statement regarding Hernandez that read in full, “Fuck you.”