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Guitarist Replaces Perfectly Fine Brake Pedal With $299 Boutique Brake Pedal

CORPUS CHRISTI, Texas — Local guitarist and gear snob Graham Andersson reportedly paid almost $300 for a fancy brake pedal upgrade in his 2011 Toyota Corolla despite offering no noticeable benefit, amused friends confirmed.

“A stock brake pedal is enough for most motorists, but I’m really exacting and discerning with all foot-controlled devices,” said Andersson, who recently moved apartments to have more space for his guitar pedal collection. “This limited-run brake pedal is hand-assembled using metal casting techniques from the 1970s. It actually emulates the braking in James Dean’s car. Beginners might not be able to notice a meaningful difference, but trust me, it’s worth it. You’ve never had a more transparent braking experience.”

The mechanic who replaced the brake pedal questioned the purpose of the task.

“In all my years, I’ve never had a request as odd as this one. I just don’t see the point,” explained Hal Munson of Munson’s Motors. “He brought this smaller, flimsier brake pedal and said he’s ‘trying to sell the old one on Reverb.’ He offered me $99 just to replace it which was the easiest $99 I’ve ever earned. I figured it was some kind of TikTok prank. Please tell me, I don’t want to go viral again. My kids are ruining my business and reputation.”

Guitar pedal builders admit that their industry might be experiencing a financial bubble in 2023.

“I haven’t had a passion for building pedals since about 2010,” confessed Wendy Moritz, owner of Minty Pedals, makers of the popular Spearmint Drive. “But I’m making so much money by charging almost 400 dollars for a glorified Tube Screamer knockoff in an enclosure with a matte finish. Pretentious guitarists are my key to an early retirement. I’d be leaving money on the table if I quit to pursue my real passion: septic tank pumping.”

As of press time, Andersson has since tragically died due to a heart condition after he refused treatment when surgeons couldn’t promise that a life-saving triple bypass surgery would be “true bypass.”