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Game Show Network Cancels “Win Rammstein’s Money” After Set Burns Down Again

LOS ANGELES — The Game Show Network canceled the metal-and-pyro-themed “Win Rammstein’s Money” after the set burned to the ground for the fourth time this season, according to relieved sources.

“Here at the Game Show Network, we really wanted to be in the Rammstein business,” claimed Jeffrey Chambers, the cable network’s Head of Programming. “We were excited about this program and we put a lot of money behind it. But enough is enough. We had to draw the line after they accidentally damaged the ‘Family Feud’ set. I’d love to see you try telling Steve Harvey that taping is canceled because a bunch of BDSM freaks fired a penis cannon at his podium. Survey says, he was ready to kick their German asses.”

Rammstein responded to the news with disappointment but also a sense of wearied acceptance.

“This brings great shame to us and our German motherland,” admitted lead singer Till Lindemann whilst solemnly brandishing a ceremonial flaming sword. “Unfortunately, ‘Win Rammstein’s Money’ was an utter catastrophe from the very beginning. Apparently, in US TV studio, it is verboten to melt cameras and burn the contestants. This came as a huge shock to us, as in the motherland that is typical Saturday morning programming for kid and little baby. Also, we are very bad at trivia and lost a tremendous sum of money.”

Media analysts have begun weighing in on the ramifications of the cancellation, which could potentially start a wave of similar announcements.

“TV experts have been predicting this ever since the show’s premiere featured almost no trivia, but spent most of its run time on a fiery reimagination of the crucifixion of Christ,” noted Variety TV reporter Ashley Liu. “They got a lot of flak for that one, especially the part with all of the dildos. So you can’t really blame the network, and this could spell doom for other metal-themed game shows. For example, the writing is definitely on the wall for Gwar’s highly controversial ‘Who Wants to Behead a Millionaire?’”

As of press time, Rammstein was trying to patch things up with Steve Harvey by gifting him a set of metallic, flamethrowing angel’s wings.