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Every Waterparks Album Ranked Worst To Best

Waterparks, Marc Summers’ favorite band not including Alanis, seemingly came out of nowhere in 2016 with their debut full-length album “Double Dare,” and infiltrated the pop-punk, pop-rock, Warped Tour, and Manic Panic with their quirky yet melodic blend of Rolling Rock. Power trios rule, so let’s give praise to vocalist/guitarist Awsten Knight, lead guitarist Geoff Wigington, and drummer Otto Wood; zero accolades are in order for the band’s non-existent bassist. The band also has the impressive but not really, stat of having five albums on four different labels: Equal Vision Records, Hopeless Records, 300 Entertainment, and Fueled by Ramen LLC.

5. Entertainment (2018)

The term “sophomore slump” exists because of “Entertainment,” and nothing else. While this LP is quite good in its own right, in comparison to the other four in the band’s catalog, it has the least amount of replay value, unintentionally making its title the lowest form of such for Waterparks. The band toned down its energy overall from “Double Dare” for this one and sadly the ten tracks suffer as a result. If the album was a 4-6 song EP, it would’ve been insane in a good way, but sadly, since about ⅓ of the songs are ok, this one has to come in last. This is Waterpark’s last EVR release and if you want some tea, Google the drama between Waterparks and the label.

Play it again: “TANTRUM”
Skip it: About ⅓ of it

4. Greatest Hits (2021)

While “Numb” is a top ten Waterparks single, the sixteen other songs on Waterparks’ fourth LP, the meh titled “Greatest Hits” just aren’t up to snuff when compared to the rest of the three-piece’s catalog, and would have truly benefited from almost ⅓ being removed here like what they should’ve done on “Entertainment” and utilized as B-sides, or, gasp, never. We’re not kidding, and we know that you creeps that stan all things Knight are crying over it all at a hot ice bath in a secret location. Still, it is quite admirable that 300 Entertainment released six, YES SIX, singles for “Greatest Hits,” which, and we know that we’ve said the word “⅓” a lot here already, is literally almost ⅓ of the full record. In closing, we want Geoff’s jacket and some Fruit Roll-ups.

Play it again: “Numb”
Skip it: Just under ⅓ of it

3. Intellectual Property (2023)

Fun fact: Waterpark’s fifth and newest LP as of now, “Intellectual Property,” clocks in at exactly thirty-one minutes, and only two of its songs, the last tracks “Closer” and “A Night Out on Earth” are longer than two-minutes-and-fifty-two seconds, showing that the band is more about protein than fat, and that water is neither. We’re sure that it felt like the band snuck out of heaven whilst remaining heavenly when they inked a deal with Fueled by Ramen LLC, current home to Twenty-One Pilots, The Front Bottoms, A Day to Remember, and Celine Dion, and said happiness showcases in the sad songs here, that are still recorded in a way that feels bright and fun. The band also expressed their gratitude towards expletives with the opening track “St*rfucker” and song #9, “Fuck About It” (featuring Blackbear and no *). Basically, they are the three best friends that anyone could have!

Play it again: “REAL SUPER DARK”
Skip it: “RITUAL”

2. Double Dare (2016)

After two DIY self-released EPs, “Airplane Conversations” and “Black Light,” because Waterparks are crust punk AF, and one for Equal Vision Records called “Cluster,” as they are emo-adjacent as heck, Waterpark’s entered the scene with their debut studio album “Double Dare.” This album sets the ADD genre tone that is consistent throughout each Waterparks’ LPs, and we implore you to stay awake for all forty-four minutes and nineteen seconds of this poppy and rockin’ gem of an LP. Within a year of this album’s release, the band were bona fide legit true headliners, and we blame/love Hawaii, America as a whole, Plum Island, and Princess Peach for such; they’ll always be around.

Play it again: “Gloom Boys”
Skip it: “I’ll Always Be Around”

1. Fandom (2019)

If you wished that Waterparks listened to more of your phone conversations, Daft Punk, Fall Out Boy, and “Orange Is the New Black” episodes in aural form, “Fandom” is for you. Like “Intellectual Property,” Waterparks showed that they had no patience for the extraneous, and the longest song here, “[Reboot],” is a whopping three minutes and twenty-two seconds. It would be a crime if you listened to this record without bobbing your head even though proud public words about Waterparks typically makes one easy to hate. In closing, there are SO many other acts out there that deserve your scorn more than this power trio.

Play it again: “Watch What Happens Next”
Skip it: “Never Bloom Again”