ATLANTA – The Love Shack, a beloved little old place where we can get together for decades made famous by the B-52’s song, was torn down this week to make room for planned high-rise fuck condos, confirmed multiple sources sporting beehive hairdos.
“As we know the loss of The Love Shack is a disappointment to the amorous community we are planning to preserve the legacy of The Love Shack in our luxury apartments which will feature modern amenities, plenty of details to get your rocks off, all located just 15 miles from downtown,” said Fuck Condo lead developer Sage Price. “We will be incorporating the rusted tin roof into the sex dungeon decor and the faded road sign into our hump sauna. We have also teamed up with Fleshlight to furnish each apartment with sex toys that play ‘Love Shack’ at full volume every time you climax.”
City planners report irreparable structural damage was behind the decision to grant demolition permits.
“Unfortunately, the building was not long for this world,” reports architect Brett Garza. “All the hugging and kissing, dancing and loving that happened here nightly resulted in the kind of tensile and compressive damage that creates the overwhelming shimmying that was reported here regularly. The amount of glitter in the hallways and mattresses was also a respiratory hazard. And don’t get me started on the roof, that was a massive code violation. We saved so many lives by shutting it down.”
While the building may be gone the community will treasure the memories they all have of The Love Shack.
“We used to stay up all night in that line waiting to get in,” said Atlanta subculture historian Ethan Heel. “There was a secret door knock you had to do but the music was so loud you had to really bang hard. And the parking lot was atrocious. The lot was built to fit, like, a dozen cars but dudes are driving up in these giant whale-sized Chryslers and they need three spaces each. I think they may have been on coke.”
At press time, local advocacy groups are working to get the Brick House The Commodores sang so fondly about listed in the National Register of Historical Funky Places.