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Completely Forgotten Woman Confident Ex-Boyfriend’s New Song Is About Her

BOSTON — Local woman Anne Deloach is certain the first track from her ex-boyfriend’s latest EP is about her, despite his forgetting her almost immediately after their breakup two years ago, perplexed sources confirm.

“I know my eyes are blue and all, but I heard his song ‘Brown Eyes’ and instantly knew it was about me — they look sorta brown when I wear green, and I used to wear this green tank top around him a lot,” Deloach said. “He literally even told me once that wearing green makes my eyes look darker. So I have no doubt the song is about me.”

The lyrics, which describe a couple taking tequila shots, eating pizza, and hopping New York City subways on their way to a venue, left Deloach “definitely, for sure” positive that the song is about her, as she and songwriter Oliver Harris reportedly shared a similar experience while they were dating.

“We took shots before we went to a show in Queens one time, and we took an Uber because I think trains are gross… but it was basically the same thing,” she explained. “I mean, I don’t drink tequila, but it clearly just rhymes better with the next line than Jack Daniels. Or maybe it was some weird copyright thing? But either way, we’d almost always eat junk food when we got drunk.”

“Honestly, it’s a little pathetic — like, move on already, or at least try a little harder not to be so obvious,” she added.

However, those around Deloach are puzzled by her belief.

“I heard they weren’t even technically dating,” admitted mutual friend Reid Stern. “I mean, I’m pretty sure he stopped texting her back before they even split. Were they even officially together at all?”

When questioned, Harris offered a solemn explanation.

“Who?” Harris said. “Oh… right. Damn, I haven’t heard that name in a while. Is she the half-Chinese one?”

At press time, Deloach determined that “Forklift,” the second track off of the EP, was written about the time she and Harris walked by a forklift in August of 2017.