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BREAKING: Singer Billy Joel Quits Green Day

LONG ISLAND, N.Y. — Singer-songwriter Billy Joel via social media that he has quit Green Day, and will no longer have associations with the band going forward, stunned sources confirmed.

“The rumors are true. It is with great sorrow that after almost 30 years as a fan I’ve chosen to leave Green Day behind me. At first, I loved their poppy and punky sound, but this past decade it seems like they have done everything they can to piss me off,” Billy Joel said in a Facebook post this morning. “The outfits, the crowd lighting, the musical — this isn’t the same Green Day that I once loved.”

Green Day started as a punk band in 1988. After a few short years of playing small clubs, Billy Joel is now best known for playing sold-out shows at Madison Square Garden.

“He may be right. He may be crazy, but it hurts to know that he isn’t a fan of everything we’ve done since Minority,” said Mike Dirnt, Green Day founding member, and bassist. “I still think Billy Joel is the best songwriter in the world. No hard feelings. He always has a VIP space in our fan club if he wants it.”

Billy Joel has publicly struggled with his substance abuse since facing DUI charges in the early 2000s. However, the rock icon claimed to be sober and clear-headed long before announcing his plans to move away from the band.

“Maybe one day I’ll be able to listen to those old albums again and feel something but, until then, I’m putting Kerplunk in a box and keeping it in the garage next to my copy of River of Dreams,” the piano man said. “To all the Green Day fans out there I just want to say keep fighting the good fight, you are stronger than I am.”

There is no word at this time on what Joel’s next musical infatuation will be.

“It is really tough to say what is next for me,” said Billy Joel. “But what I can say is I have really been getting into podcasts lately. If you have any good recommendations feel free to email them to me.”

Article by Drew Kaufman. 


  1. Oswald January 29, 2015

    AHHAHHAHAH I wonder how many people will think THIS one is real news

  2. Sergey January 29, 2015

    Shit! I almost believed it!

    • Krystal Graham January 30, 2015

      For one…his name is Billie Joe Armstrong… For two… He is 42 years old not 65. This is total bs.

      • Jay Lepire January 31, 2015

        And you know this about him… WHY!!!

  3. Roland Szpond January 29, 2015

    I wonder who started this fire….

  4. Marie January 29, 2015

    For starters, he isn’t 65, he’s 42. 43 Feb 17th. Second, his name is spelled Billie Joe, not Billie Joe.

    • Matt January 29, 2015

      No shit

    • forcefield January 29, 2015

      Billy Joel is in fact 65.

    • wintermute January 29, 2015

      It’s satire, and you’re an idiot.

    • Roland Szpond January 29, 2015

      Guess you didn’t get the joke where this whole article is confusing Billy Joe with Billy Joel

    • Jay Lepire January 31, 2015

      Are you his wife or boyfriend? How do you know this.

  5. bukkakebro January 29, 2015

    this is so fucking funny holy shit

  6. Osborne January 29, 2015

    Oh man. I was hoping this was true. Too bad

  7. chaz jayz January 29, 2015

    Hes saying hes 65 to be sarcastic., hes crazy lol. Cause people keep googling him and it comes up as the singer billy Joel who is 65.

  8. Danny January 29, 2015

    Needed to photoshop Billy Joel’s head onto Billie Joe. Fact: Billy did go by “Billy Joe” in his first band.

  9. Barbara shade January 29, 2015

    I’m so devastated& my family too. Billy Joel is a legend of Punk Green Day will never be the same. I’m srry

  10. Lucas Caze January 30, 2015


    • TopDogNYC February 9, 2015


  11. JSun January 30, 2015

    It’s Billy JOE, you idiot!

  12. ihavetoomuchaddtowriteanovel January 30, 2015

    Can we make a game out of this? Every time someone “corrects” the name of Green Day’s frontman, age, or doesn’t understand basic satire in the comment section….we give each other blowjobs

  13. emily ritter January 30, 2015

    this is my new favorite thing

  14. gumba January 30, 2015

    Really guys? This one isn’t even funny or clever satire, it’s just obvious fishing for clicks/shares.

  15. Jay Lepire January 31, 2015

    I see all these idiots (who obviously consider sarcasm a foreign language) upset that his age is 65 or that his name is Billy Joel, but what offends my ass is when Green Day is called Punk. Wannabes.

  16. Jay Lepire January 31, 2015

    /Users/jlepire/Desktop/Billy Greenday Joel copy.jpg

  17. Ryan Bruin January 31, 2015

    You all also missed the line “You may be right, I may be crazy”
    It’s from a Billy Joel song…

  18. George Black February 2, 2015

    WTF is this?!?!?! “Quitting Green Day is the hardest decision I have ever made in my 65 years on this earth.”
    65YEARS old?????? hahahah, no way…

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