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Band’s High-Powered Lawyer Advises Frontman to Hold Out for More Vocals in Monitor

DENVER — Denver hardcore band Sheeptheif caused a massive delay ahead of their performance today at the Summit Music Hall after the band’s lawyer advised their frontman not to begin the show until his vocals were boosted in the monitors, frustrated showgoers reported.

“This is yet another case of a young, impressionable artist being bullied and short-shrifted by a fat cat in the sound engineering industry,” said Sheeptheif lawyer Rick Peña. “What this esteemable ‘Sound Guy’ fails to understand is that my client is bringing more to the table than anyone else in this arrangement, so he is entitled to a controlling interest in any and all mixing-related disputes. Any assertion to the contrary is flagrantly wack at best and, at worst, tantamount to poserhood.”

“That my client’s request will result in ear-splitting feedback is immaterial,” Peña continued. “The fact remains that he is the talent, and we all work at his pleasure, no matter how ill-considered it might be.”

Peña stood firm in his opposition to Summit sound engineer Kevin Dang, who expressed annoyance at yet another show being held up by the threat of litigation.

“Fuckin’ band lawyers, man,” Dang sighed. “Singers are hard enough to deal with on their own — it’s even worse when they bring in their legal teams. I understand they’re wary of being taken advantage of by your average draconian, power-mad sound tech. but I’ve gotta set these levels soon; the show is already an hour behind schedule, and the stenographer these guys brought with them is making people uncomfortable.”

The incident is merely the latest in a series of standoffs Sheeptheif has engaged in since hiring Peña last year.

“Rick’s always telling us to make ‘power moves’ in these situations,” said vocalist Brandon McNabney. “I’ve argued with the sound guy at every show I’ve ever played, but I always used to roll over and settle for a mix where I could still hear the bass. But thanks to Rick, my days of making things easier for others are over. Last week, he got us an extra hour at our rehearsal studio by convincing the manager he had to fill out a memorandum of understanding before he could kick us out. Hell of a lawyer, this guy.”

At press time, negotiations were heating up as Peña demanded a recess to allow his paralegals to check out the merch booth.